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Grades
Exam Time Creates Stress Between Parent & Child
December 15, 2009 12:00 PM Filed in: High School
Parents
cannot give the gift of learning to their
children. Read
more...
Straight A’s Not License For Disrespect
September 22, 2009 12:00 PM Filed in: Elementary
School
Disrespectful
Children Will Become Disrespectful
AdultsRead
more...
Child Sets Himself Up For Failure This School Year
September 01, 2009 12:00 PM Filed in: Elementary
School
Parents
often fail to teach children realistic
goal-setting Read
more...
Confront Unexpected Without Crisis Mode
April 14, 2009 12:00 PM Filed in: All Levels
|
Dear Dr. Fournier: My son is a seventh grader doing well until he got a 48 on a major test in a subject he had an A. Next, another teacher calls saying he is missing a homework assignment that will bring his B down to D if it is not turned in. Other than that, I have a really good kid, no behavior problems. I have punished him, taken everything away and he says he is sorry. When is he going to grow up and be responsible? |
The Assessment: Let’s start with the end of your letter about when your child will grow up.
Even though the world may call your son a teenager, he is still a child, in the rehearsal years of school when grades do not count for life.
Whatever happens later will depend on what you do now.
From your actions toward him on this issue, he is learning how to handle problems with others when he is an adult. The way you are confronting him now is teaching him how to confront others now and later: with fear and irrationality. This is how he will act as a husband, a father and an adult in the workplace.
School alerts parents of work habits a child is struggling with. With societal pressure for more education biting at their necks, teachers are being harassed to teach more content. Rather than teach good work habits, schools expect children to already have them. That means teaching work habits (also called work ethic) is up to you.
What To Do: A child with an A usually does not have a problem learning content. So, find out what it was about this test that made a difference. You will not be able to know that without seeing the test and your son’s responses. Here are reasons I have found:
As for missing homework, a child with an A usually does not knowingly self-sabotage. Here’s one example I discovered with a child: A teacher at her school asked the student to run an errand and while she was out of the classroom, gave assignments verbally. When she returned, no one told her the assignment, not even the teacher! Solution: Talk with your child and with the teacher about missing homework and make sure this is an oversight the teacher will not do again.
With calmness, analysis and reasoning, each of your issues is easily dealt with. Even if your child makes all A’s, learning to confront the unexpected without a crisis mode will last a lot longer than the content he leans. Basic skills and work ethic are forever. Content changes and so will what your child must know from now to when he is 25 and older.
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