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Pre-School
Uniforms or Dress Code Teach Reasons, Respect
May 19, 2009 12:00 PM
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Dear Dr. Fournier: Should all children have to wear the same uniform to school or should they be allowed to dress individually as long as they follow a standard dress code? |
The Assessment: In our work life, we all have different roles that define what we do for those we serve. People who focus on carrying out their responsibilities with excellence, initiative, and innovation do so based on service to others, not on how they look.
Most working adults either have a uniform or a dress code that intends to guarantee the employee physical and emotional safety needed for themselves and from others to concentrate cognitively on their job. Examples include a pilot who wears a uniform that designates authority and trust; a surgeon who wears pajama-like medical attire for comfort, yet it is sterile for health and safety reasons; and tellers in a bank, who generally follow the “banker’s blue” dress code including closed-toed shoes for women, even though most of us don’t see a teller’s feet.
We all have the choice of wearing the politically correct social attire for what we do in our private lives. For example, when you get an invitation that says “Black-tie,” women know to wear a dark or black formal or semi-formal dress while men know to wear a formal black suit, even with a bow tie rather than a standard tie. If the invitation says “Causal,” or “Business Casual,” that may mean beach clothes if it is to a pool party or khaki pants and a polo shirt for men and a sundress for women if it is a corporate party.
Finally, there are social norms that we learn from parents or intuitively as we grow. Examples include how we dress when we go to church, a graduation ceremony, or a park festival. We know they are different, yet within each category, each place has its dress code.
The idea that clothes are to be used as a way for children and adolescents to develop individuality is a poor excuse for not teaching children that attire has to do with those they serve or care for. On too many occasions, children brought up to use attire to develop individuality end up believing that what they want is more important than following the guidelines of what is considered respectful.
I have been to formal weddings where men showed up in blue jeans, a Bar Mitzvah where girls bared their midriff, a graduation where the graduates dressed as if they were heading out to a nightclub, and a church where some girls go in shorts that are almost non-existent. I once had a prospective employee show up to his interview in flip-flops and clothes that should be in the washer.
Some may read this and say this is their prerogative. While true, your attire should not speak louder than your intelligence.
As for dress codes or required uniforms, students – in the name of individuality – are constantly try to cross the lines. It really does not matter whether a school has a uniform or a dress code. It does matter that we teach them why it matters.
What To Do: Starting as early as possible, every parent and school should hold themselves responsible for teaching our youth that their bodies talk, and once their bodies speak, what your body says will be, “I command respect by giving respect.” That includes wearing a uniform or following a dress code.
It is amazing how students will follow the rules when they understand the reason for them. For example, in my Day School, students are not allowed to wear rubber flip-flops because of the chance they get caught on the carpet and someone ends up on the floor face down with no front teeth. Boys do not wear earrings because they are expected to dazzle the world with their mind and not with their earlobes.
Personally, I prefer uniforms. When I was required to wear one in ninth grade, I thought I belonged because of my mind power and not because of what I wore.
The development of individuality should be about respect for self and for others – not disrespect. This is the most important rule of attire: A school dress code or uniform is intended to keep your MIND on your MIND, not “How can I outwit the rule today to flaunt my body instead.”
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Red-Shirting At Kindergarten Level
April 21, 2009 12:00 PM
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Dear Dr. Fournier: My daughter is contemplating keeping her 3 yr. old from starting kindergarten at age 5. She’s in a lottery-based, pre-K program for 4 yr. olds. If he doesn’t win entry into the pre-K program, he will then have 2 yrs. before kindergarten (starting at age 6, instead). This pre-K is extremely academic. Children are learning such things as the States, etc., and, it’s expensive. Do you have any advice on red-shirting boys for kindergarten? |
The Assessment: From beginnings in college sports, coaches red-shirted an athlete to keep the player from playing for a year, most notably to give the athlete time to gain physical and cognitive as well as emotional maturity.
The term has been pushed down to pre-schoolers whose parents must decide whether to put their children in kindergarten at the age of five or wait to give them a developmental advantage.
The reason a five-year-old would need a developmental advantage in kindergarten is because it’s no longer designed for five-year-olds.
It’s structured to please researchers and educators who think the solution to our educational system’s failure is to get to kids sooner. They have colluded in convincing parents that pre-school and kindergarten are the places to set firm foundations to prepare your child for college. What nonsense!
This concept has become so accepted as fact that even bright people with common sense are drones in the belief that if your child is not reading by kindergarten either you are a failure or something is wrong with your child.
You can see this in the volume of over-prescribed addictive medication and the proliferation of special education classes to correct what natural development and appropriate expectations would have done on their own. Had I not lived the reality of this myself many times over, I might have become a Stepford Wife to the “more, and sooner, is better” curriculum.
Can children sustain the pressure of a pushed-down curriculum? Yes, in the same way girls who have started their menstrual cycles at age 11 can tolerate a pregnancy at that age.
What To Do: Children have different ages: Chronological, physiological, psychological, emotional, education-learning ready, cognitive, social (with known children), socialization (with new adults and new children), experiential, language skills, spiritual, empathetic, sensorimotor, listening for directions, new challenges and more.
After visiting the classroom in which you plan to place your child, ask yourself whether you feel he/she is “age appropriate” in the majority of the categories above. If yes, just understand that your child is in development and will continue to develop. Once in school, indicate to the teacher any areas of concern but take care to do so in a positive way and not a negative one. The good thing about pre-school is that should you believe you have made a mistake, you can pull your child out at any time without it being in their record.
If you do not believe your child is ready in most of the categories, then your answer is clearly red-shirt.
By the way, placing a child in a school of any level without visiting it is like buying a gold mine off the promise there’s gold in those hills. You’d better inspect it first to make sure it’s not fool’s gold.
And, if you pull a child out, ask yourself if maybe you had excessive expectations before you look to a problem with the child. Should your child do well, that’s great for you and the child. If not, don’t get discouraged. Some of the world’s great leaders and thinkers were late bloomers, even failures before great success (President Abraham Lincoln).
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