Student Fails To Recognize Strengths

What to do when children can’t see their own abilities.Read more...

Achievement Tests Contribute To America’s Decline

U.S. School System Discourages Creative ThinkersRead more...

Why Treat Children Like Dogs?

Children should not be rewarded materially for good grades Read more...

Everybody Else Does Not Do It

Be your child’s parent, not friendRead more...

Homework: It’s the Result of Classroom Failure

The name remains the same as 40 years agoRead more...

Parents Mean Well But Could Do More Harm

Resist crossing the line from parent to teacher Read more...

Old Style Discipline and Authority Won’t Work In Today’s World


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Dear Dr. Fournier: My son is back in school but at registration, I was handed a copy of the new discipline policy. On the first day of school, he and his classmates got an explanation of the policy and it has scared him to death. He cries, doesn’t want to go to school, and says he can’t do his work because he is afraid. He’s 9 years old and in the 4th grade. He has always been a happy child who loves to play and ask questions. I’m really worried. What should I do? Debbie M., Lexington, Ky.


School has started back and my son’s school has started a card system to try and better manage the behavioral problems the school had last year with kids. If a child misbehaves, the child’s card is pulled. This continues for three card-pulls then the child is punished. An act of misbehaving can be something as simple as not having a pencil out. As a result, my son now feels like he is in prison and is so afraid of doing something wrong, he doesn’t want to do anything. How can he learn when he is filled with fear?
Robert D., Birmingham, Ala.

Dear Debbie and Robert: Often I hear, “Remember the one-room schoolhouse?”

It was a time when teachers ruled with a hickory stick and the students all stayed in line.

This method may have worked well in the past but it will not prepare today’s students to be the collaborative decision-makers our country needs for the future and for the global world in which we live.

The Assessment: Schools of a past era – the Industrial Era, specifically – prepared students for a rote workforce where the need was for manual laborers to tend positions on an assembly line doing the same job, day in and day out, for the same supervisor.

Schools mimicked the structure that students would experience in the real world, and teachers maintained authoritative control with a standard discipline policy.

The problem is that schools are still teaching this way, yet the work environment for which our children are being prepared is fast disappearing and in fact, barely exists in this country. As such, the rigid policies and disciplines of the Industrial Era that are still being used in today’s schools are not going to produce the workforce of the future.

However, it seems to be producing quite a few college graduates that are turning up on parents’ doorsteps, jobless and ready to move back home.

If you have not read Thomas Friedman’s books, you should. I recommend
The World Is Flat 3.0, and Hot, Flat and Crowded.

His first book is about the connectivity of the world and technological advances that have made it possible to do business almost instantly around the world. In his second book, Friedman talks about the rise of the middle class in the BRIC countries (Brazil, Russia, India and China) and how they are now consuming products like Americans have been for decades.

This can only mean one thing. Companies producing products and services for this new global consumer will likely require employees to be creative and collaborative to meet the needs of that new consumer. And since said companies probably have global offices, workers will be expected to be collaborative in a decision-making process that ensures appropriate social interaction among co-workers from various countries.

This is practically a mandate for changing how our classrooms are managed and how our children are being taught. If we want to prepare our children for the world Friedman describes, we should be teaching students in an entirely different way and as such, controlling the classroom in a different manner.

It is this one, of classroom control, which lies at the heart of your issues, Debbie and Robert.

Rather than viewing classroom behavior as a 30-to-l battle between students and teacher, schools need to mimic the emerging new world reality in which behavior is not mandated. Instead, behavior is the result of collaborative decision-making that ensures appropriate social interaction among students.

This rather radical change in the student-teacher relationship emphasizes the capacity to collaborate and to solve problems together, rather than the old structure of blind submission schools still rely on today.

Students and teachers must begin to work together to establish the rules and consequences for group behavior so that the responsibility for conduct is on everyone. In doing so, the learning environment is enhanced not diminished.

What To Do: Until schools change to meet the needs of today and the future, your children will need to deal with their fear of the system.

First, openly discuss with your children how schools responded to the needs of the past, teaching people how to obey, follow instructions, work independently and repeat what the teacher said. Explain to your child it was not out of meanness but out of necessity that our schools created such systems and are unfortunately, stuck in this mode of thought today.

Explain to them that even though today’s schools cling to the policies of the past, they will have a wonderful opportunity in the future to work with other people and make decisions together, not just follow directions.

To cope with the present system, legitimize your children’s fears. Talk with them about the moments in the day that they fear most. List these explicitly, and then have them find a solution and carry through with that solution.

For example, Robert, if your son is afraid of getting his card pulled because he doesn’t have a pencil ready, he could carry a pencil case in the front pocket of his book bag or put a mechanical pencil in his shirt pocket. If he is afraid of getting out the wrong book when it’s time for math, he could put different colored stickers on the book covers of each book so he can recognize each subject by its color.

The process of problem solving is important. Help your children brainstorm, evaluate ideas, test them and change what doesn’t work. Help them to be in control rather than be controlled.

Until schools begin to transition into teaching based on collaborative decision-making, parents must take on the responsibility of building reasoned thinking and collaboration in their children as a response to rigidity.

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Viewing Public Schools As A Corporation


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Dear Dr. Fournier: This year my child will be entering first grade in a Little Rock Public School. Recently, I had some spare time and dropped in to visit the school. There was a sign at the entrance that stated all parents and visitors were to check in at the front desk.

I stopped at the front desk and asked permission to walk through the school. I was told the principal was in a meeting and she was the only one who could take me on a tour. I explained I only wanted to take a peek at the school facilities and not to go into any classrooms. I was rudely told that this was unheard of and there would be an open house for new parents and students.

I decided to visit two private schools the same day. I was very warmly greeted and immediately given a tour. They told me if I wanted to set an appointment to come back, they would take me into the classes.

Do you have any suggestions for new parents who want to visit a public school? I dislike scheduled appointments, because I like to see what the school is like every day.
Lisa M., Little Rock, Ark.


Dear Lisa: When a child enters any school for the first time, no matter what his or her age or grade, the entire family is introduced to a new culture.

The Assessment: School will be your child’s home for at least six, maybe seven, hours a day Lisa. It is understandable you want to feel comfortable with both its educational and social aspects. All parents should desire this.

Unfortunately, culture shock often brings fear and intimidation. We are immediately confronted with new rules and new expectations that are so familiar to teachers and administrators, they can’t understand our frustration.

These frustrations often blend with a feeling of intimidation and parents back off, many staying away from their children’s schools. Teachers and administrators then misinterpreted this distancing as a lack of interest on the parents’ part. A gap occurs or is perceived as such, hurting the positive relationship needed between parents and teachers/administrators for a learning partnership that is supportive of the child.

What To Do: Lisa, I want you to look at the school through different eyes, professional not emotional. If it’s a public school, view it as a corporation in which you have purchased stock (in the form of taxes or tuition). Your dividend is the education, not just schooling, of your child. As a parent, you have a seat on the board of directors and with extensive knowledge of the company’s goals and operations; you have a voice in its policies.

Perhaps you need to do some research by talking to other directors (parents) and the company’s employees (teachers and administrators).

Just as you would make a professional appointment to meet a doctor, lawyer or CEO for the first time, you should also use this formal way of introducing yourself at your child’s school. At this professional appointment, however, you should be ready for an open discussion of goals, expectations, established policies and procedures, and other aspects of the school culture. Once knowledgeable, inform the school of your intention to visit without appointment.

However do not jump to hasty conclusions. Be prepared to observe your child’s school on numerous occasions and not come to judgments based on one visit. Gather knowledge from a variety of sources, teachers and other parents to complement your own observations.

It is important to attend PTA meetings and to participate in your child’s school culture. Having complete knowledge is more than important. It is imperative. This is the only weapon against your own fear and intimidation, and it is the basis for your effective participation in your child’s education.

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Getting Back to Using Time Wisely


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Dear Dr. Fournier: It’s mid July and my daughter is enjoying an unstructured summer, oblivious of the clock. I am trying to condition her now for the start of school, which is actually in just three weeks. To get her back in the habit of completing a task in a certain amount of time, or by a certain date, I have given her tasks to do around the house with deadlines for when they must be completed. My daughter has never done well on the “attending to task” and “done on time” part of her report cards.

I fear this will be the case again this coming school year. I know she can do the work just fine because we threaten her with punishment, especially spankings and to avoid this, she concentrates on her work and gets it done. Still, it’s been the same these last two weeks with summer tasks around the house. She’s missed a couple of deadlines so I have had to threaten her with punishment. How do I motivate her to work on her own and to initiate work herself? I am worried about the constant negative reinforcement here.
Denise R., Hollywood, Fla.


Dear Denise: Many children have difficulty attending to tasks in school, especially in the early grades. Unfortunately, this leads to teachers and others, including parents, calling them “unmotivated” or “lazy” when they really only have a time management issue. If “attending to task” were a synonym for reading, then the solution would be obvious: Teach the child how to read. So, a child who doesn’t attend to tasks needs to be taught how to do this.

Consider the business executive who spends hundreds of dollars to take a professional seminar on time management. Is he unable to use time wisely? Is he unmotivated? Is he lazy? Is he punished for his deficiency?

The answer to all of the questions is, “No,” Denise. He simply needs to be taught time management skills and as an adult, he has the ability to recognize this and ask for or get help. When an adult recognizes weakness in his work habits, he or she remedies that by learning the necessary strategies to correct the deficiency. Most children cannot do this. And unfortunately, we don’t give children the same latitude in learning work habits as we do adults in the workplace.

If a child’s report card shows, “Needs Improvement” in one of these work habits, parents may resort to punishments or bribes to create motivation. If these don’t work, many parents have their children tested to try and find the source of the problem.

The Assessment: Report cards have two parts. One deals with academic subjects. The other, which causes much pain to family and children, deals with work habits. Those generally are:


    These are the skills that schools expect children to innately have. Since these are NOT skills present from birth, I call this “The Innateness Fallacy.”

    Denise, when your daughter was a preschooler, how many times did you have her sit in a chair and carry out these instructions?

    “You will take out your dolls and play with them. You will color in your coloring book, and color the circles red and the triangles blue.”

    Probably never. You just gave her the dolls, the colors and the coloring book and let her do her own thing. You, like many parents, expected your child to do this by herself because much of this type of “work” is instinctive. However, the work habits that are listed on a child’s report card are schoolwork habits that are not instinctive and must be taught.

    What To Do: Time and task are the two issues that make children unable to get the assignment done.

    Many children are expected to know how to stay on task without knowing how to manage time. Without an understanding of time, a child cannot learn his own working capacity; such as knowing he can do 10 math problems in 10 minutes. Without this knowledge, the task easily overwhelms a child. This leads to fear, and fear takes to daydreaming (procrastination). What seems like a naughty child is really a stressed child who does not know “how.”

    So, when school resumes, use homework to teach your daughter to learn her own working capacity by following these five easy steps:


      Once the task is complete, stop the timer and show her how long it took. Ask her to write it down so she sees on paper that her three hours turned out to be only five minutes. She will then be able to realize how much she can do in small units of time. You can also do this now with the household tasks you are assigning her by following the same steps.

      Next time your child gets a similar task, she will not have to fear it because she knows she can handle it in a certain amount of time. And then Denise, give her a hug that will go a long way.

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      Dealing with teachers' sarcasm and ridicule


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      Dear Dr. Fournier: I know it’s only July but school will be starting before we know it and I’m worried about the teachers my son will have as he goes into his 9th grade year. We had a problem with our child last year and it nearly devastated me. He was subjected for most of the school year to a teacher’s sarcasm and ridicule in the classroom even though he tried valiantly to please her and keep this teacher happy. As a result, his self-esteem suffered badly. He withdrew from his friends and us for a while then school was over and he was happy again as summer started. I know he is already dreading the start of school next month for fear of the same thing happening this coming school year. What can we as parents do when our children are subjected to a teacher’s sarcasm and ridicule? Jenny F., New Bern, NC


      Dear Jenny: When people suffer from work-related problems, family disagreements, financial obligations, illness or other life situations, this causes stress. They often seek relief from that stress by taking their frustrations out on others (many times people not even related to the cause of the stress) in the form of sarcasm, ridicule or just plain shouting.

      Teachers are also susceptible to stress and as such, often take it out on students in the classroom.

      While no situation justifies the use of sarcasm and ridicule, it’s a very human thing to do. Once we recognize this, we can deal with the situation.

      The Assessment: Sarcasm and ridicule are inappropriate in the classroom – whether from the teacher or from students. You cannot change their behavior. What you can do is help your child understand reactions to stress and help him learn to cope with them.

      This personal strategy is important to your son not just in the classroom but also in life. Yet coping with others is not an innate ability. You must guide your child in recognizing such situations and teach him how to handle them with empathy.

      This seemingly passive strategy is frequently dismissed in today’s world where people wear their feelings on their sleeves or walk around with a chip on their shoulder. Parents I counsel on this issue often initially are offended and say to me, “No one has a right to insult my child.”

      They are correct.

      However, you will not always be there to help your child mend hurt feelings or deal with others. It is far more important to teach your child to take responsibility for his own defense, not by hitting back but by going above it.

      I know this will seem foreign to a society where everyone wants to blame others for their troubles but taking responsibility for his life now will equip your son with the ability to deal with setbacks he will likely face as an adult.

      So, help your son learn to see opportunity where others see defeat. Help him learn that a key to overcoming hurt is finding ways to collaborate with the hurtful person rather than succumbing to him or her and the natural desire we have to separate from those around us when we are hurting.

      Most of all, Jenny, help your child learn that he is strong enough to fend off defeatist feelings with strategies for success.

      What To Do: Start by helping your child recall moments when he or she has lost control in dealing with a sister, a brother or a friend because of “outside” stress, such as getting a low grade on a report card or just simply having nothing go right for him that day (what we often call in slang terms as “having a bad hair day.”)

      Help your child understand that sometimes a teacher’s actions may be unrelated to him or the person who is on the receiving end of the teacher’s ire. Let your child know this is an opportunity to take positive action in an unpleasant situation. Use role-playing with your child to illustrate things a teacher might say, and teach your child other thoughts.

      Start by asking your child to answer three questions:

      1. What did the teacher say that shows his or her stress?
      2. Why should I not let this bother me?
      3. What can I do to let the teacher know I’m moving forward?

      Make sure your child gets to Step 3. This is the step that will help the child not stifle bad feelings, and instead take positive steps. Here is an example of the answers in this three-step process:

      1. “You could have done better on this test. You obviously didn't study. Your laziness is going to flunk you, not me.”
      2. My teacher is frustrated. Her job is to teach so that I learn. My teacher feels bad because he or she didn’t get the job done; besides, maybe she has a headache, or a sick parent or her own child is having problems.
      3. For the next test I’ll prepare an outline and ask my teacher to review it with me so she can see and know I’m making an effort.

      Finally Jenny, if this approach doesn’t help your son this coming school year with a difficult teacher, then schedule a conference with that teacher to let him or her know the affect it is having on your child’s emotional wellness.

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      Facebook Dangers: Parents can't control it all


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      Dear Dr. Fournier: I have allowed my children, 16 and 14, to have Facebook pages. They have strict rules regarding Facebook plus my parental oversight. They’re well rounded and do get socialization by means other than Facebook. They attend church and are active in sports. They use discretion on Facebook and have demonstrated such to my husband and me. What do you think of Facebook and online social networking? Jan T., Clarksdale, Tn.


      Dear Jan: Did you know Facebook already has more than 200 million subscribers since it became available in February 2004? Obviously, social networking sites have great appeal to many.

      It was not until 2007 that I ventured into Facebook. Initially, I thought it was a secure way of communicating easily with those I considered “Friends.” Before I knew it, I was being asked by acquaintances if they could be “Friends.”

      I succumbed to the pressure and said yes. Suddenly I knew who was dating who, who was in their bed, who was going out to eat or to get coffee right then and there (like I care), and pictures of everywhere they go (some of which are nice, some I wish I had never seen).

      The Assessment: Many people using Facebook are discarding all forms of social etiquette. While some offer warm messages, others zing insults. They broadcast everything about their lives I have no desire or business knowing.

      We are becoming too comfortable as a society with the mundane and the downright disgusting. What ever happened to self-respect, dignity, privacy, and knowing social boundaries?

      My social networking has boundaries as to what I say, do, and share publicly; with whom I choose to socially network; what I accept from them; and whether or not I see fit to continue socializing with them.

      Yes, it is true that adults (not children) have the right to do as they please.

      However, I wish parents were more like you and more involved in even the smallest activities in which their children participate. Yet I would caution, parents, still. You may think you can watch over your children on social networking sites, yet you cannot patrol the world.

      Facebook and other social media has its positives: immediacy, quick linkage to people one wants to stay in touch with, and a sense of constant togetherness otherwise impossible.

      What To Do: I have been in contact with Kathy Peel, who has a very good website entitled Family Manager. I encourage all parents to visit her site at http://www.familymanager.com/index.php.

      You can subscribe to Kathy’s e-mails, which are a wealth of information. She offers parents many tips on many issues. She is also the author of 20 books, including the award-winning
      Busy Mom’s Guide to a Happy, Organized Home.

      Interestingly, she has discontinued her Facebook page due to hackers.

      Jan, this suggests that even your diligent and watchful eye over your children may not be enough to protect them on social networking sites from hackers. Hackers may use the information your children post as well as their pictures in a non-flattering, detrimental, or hurtful way as is the pattern with many of these hackers

      So, let this be a lesson and warning to all parents that anything your children put on social networking sites can be compromised.

      I want to share with you some things Kathy shared with me recently. She provided me data from her own research about the experiences of children regarding social media and online use. She has graciously allowed me to share with my readers. It is startling and should be a wake-up call to us all:


        Jan, Facebook is not going to go away although as most communication methods, it will most likely morph into new formats, which means you have to be all the more diligent in parenting your children regarding changes.

        My question to all parents is are you teaching your children to use Facebook without debasing themselves? Children should be taught that a good thing should not be used for bad activity. I see a lot of bad behavior on these social networking sites as well.

        And do not forget this: In a global economy, your children will intersect with cultures that still expect social boundaries to be respected. I still expect people to regard social boundaries in my home. I also expect this from those that I call friends, even on my Facebook page.

        As we protect first amendment rights, we should also defend our right to choose with whom who we associate. All parents should teach their children modicums of decency and how to behave, lest others through social networking teach them that vulgarity is appropriate and socially acceptable.

        And, all parents should be as involved in their children’s lives as you are in yours, Jan.

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        From Mess to Success


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        Dear Dr. Fournier: My child is a mess. When Tom comes home from school, papers are scattered everywhere -- stuck in books, clipped inside his notebook and wadded like bubblegum wrappers in the bottom of his book bag. As for homework and studying for tests, we scream and fight because he puts everything off until the last minute. I keep asking him over and over, “When are you going to study?” What can I do? Megan M., Scottsdale, Az.


        Dear Megan: While you may think you have Tom’s best interest at heart, asking him this question over and over just creates more stress than he can handle and makes Tom behave in the manner you described.

        As Tom keeps waiting later and later to study, he becomes stressed and panicked over what he needs to learn. I’ve seen this procrastination in many children during my twenty-plus years in education counseling. To the casual observer, Tom appears lazy, unmotivated and irresponsible.

        The Assessment: First, we must identify the real problem. Labeling Tom lazy or a procrastinator is what many tend to do but this does not help and is probably not true.

        The question is why does Tom delay studying? (If Tom were using my strategies, he wouldn’t have to study but that’s for another column).

        The answer goes back to Tom’s disorganized school papers. Tom does not know how to get organized to have what he needs for each of his classes. He probably doesn’t save any previous quizzes, tests, homework or other graded papers so that he can review when test time comes.

        Since he can’t refer to these papers that show him what questions he missed, Tom has no idea what he still needs to learn. As such, he knows he must study everything, even what he has already mastered. This causes studying to become an overwhelming task for Tom because he hasn’t developed strategies to help him fill the gaps. And, the bigger the studying task, the more paralyzed Tom becomes.

        Without papers to use as study guides, Tom is dependent on the teacher giving out study sheets or pointing the students toward the material that will be on the test. Rather than becoming an independent learner, Tom is overly dependent on his teacher to tell him what to study.

        If not corrected, when Tom becomes an adult, he will be overly dependent on his boss or supervisor to tell him what to do on the job. People like Tom are generally the first to get pink slips when the economy takes a downturn if they are even capable of hanging on to their jobs before the downturns.

        What To Do: In Tom’s case, the academic prescription is fairly simple.

        When shopping for school supplies, you should buy Tom file folders to use for an at-home filing system and a set of pocket folders that traveled with him to and from school for each of his classes or subjects.

        In these travel folders, Tom should organize papers by purpose and label his folders as such. Here are some labels that he can use:

        Due Today
        Papers to file
        Plan/Due Later
        For Parents
        Extracurricular Activities

        Travel folders will help Tom keep his books and book bag neat. This also provides a quick transition to Tom’s home filing system.

        At home, Tom may want to label his at-home files by subject. He also needs to decide whether or not using different colored folders for subjects will help him. Tom may want to have files within a subject file. For example, he may label a blue file folder English and then want to have dividers or smaller files within his English file folder to organize according to the type of paper. He may choose to have a sub file for the class syllabus, one for tests, one for quizzes and even one for homework.

        The bottom line is this: Tom should find his own way to file. The key is to find the best way according to purpose of the paper Tom is filing.


        Organization is the first step in developing strategies for learning how to learn. We adults recognize the value of an organized person in the working world, and we each have ways of organizing everything from our time to the grocery list to collecting coupons. So why should it seem out of place to help our children, from the earliest grades, become organized?

        A filing system is a simple, inexpensive first step toward organization. Once that system is established, carrying out the daily filing is less of a chore for a student of any age.

        Let Tom help you shop for the filing system and allow him to devise it himself.

        Lend your help and support to Tom as he sets up a filing system that works, but remember, it’s a student’s job to learn, an educator’s job to teach and your job as a parent to monitor.

        Parents are not responsible for filing papers each day and studying from those papers; that’s the student’s job.

        However, parents should make sure their children empty out their purpose folders each day and file their papers at home.

        As you watch, Tom’s organization habit will grow.

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        Losing 'I-Would-Never-Do-That' Teachers


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        Dear Dr. Fournier: I read your column concerning homework. I am a teacher with 16 years experience. Believe me, teachers today would never give homework just to create busy work and aggravation for parents. The premise of homework is to give students the opportunity to practice what has been taught in order to help the teacher know what needs to be re-taught and which students may need extra help. Teachers do not have time to correct/check work unnecessarily. Most teachers at the elementary/intermediate grade levels assign, as a guideline, 10 minutes of homework per grade level, i.e., 30 minutes for a third grade student.


        The Assessment: “I-would-never-do-that” teachers like you are part of a dying breed, sad to say. Only elementary school teachers who teach all of their students’ subjects can monitor how much and what kind of homework goes home.

        When my son went to first grade, just prior to winter break, we went shopping for a gift for his teacher. “I need seven presents,” he told me because he had a reading, language arts and social studies teacher; a math teacher; a science teacher; a music teacher; an art teacher; a physical education teacher; and a library teacher.

        His teachers did not converse to determine what or how much homework they gave each day, which should have been preponderant to assigning homework. I came home some days and all his work was done; other days I would have to put a stop to some assignments that were ridiculous and interfered with our family time.

        There may be schools where teachers do consult. However, my experience is that while they may discuss long-term assignments, they fail to discuss daily homework assigned.

        As cautious as you are about the homework you give, I wonder if you have ever sent work home that the child cannot do without help from a parent. If so, I would expect such homework not to be graded as the child is still in the process of learning; otherwise grading serves no purpose but to penalize those who have not mastered work yet simply need more teaching.

        What To Do: Parents, be vigilant. You know how much homework is being given and the pain it may be causing between you and your child. To avoid this from happening, set up some rules in elementary school:


          Once your child has more than one teacher, it will be very difficult to expect the 10- minutes-per-grade-level rule to prevail. Insist from all teachers that they honor your parenting role and family time at home while they do the teaching at school.

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          Bright Child Still Needs To Master Basic Skills


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          Dear Dr. Fournier: Every year, my son’s teacher complains that he “is the only child” having his kind of problems. Now in the fourth grade, his teacher insists he doesn’t know his math facts and has trouble spelling words he should have learned in the first grade. I spend every summer reviewing these with him. I know he knows them. My son loves history, science and geography. He followed the last elections with us and has his own opinion about the Wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. He has us recycling everything to save the planet. He reads constantly. When does the teacher decide to teach him?!?


          The Assessment: Your child conceptualizes and places details within the big picture. His knowledge is not just for knowing. He uses it to solve problems: recycling and activism in demanding this in your family. He is already aware that his backyard is but a speck on the globe among other countries. He thinks outside of the scope of what he learns. He uses knowledge for conclusions to take action.

          Regardless of how bright your son is, there is something that neither you nor his teachers are able to control – his natural development. The skills that his teachers are concerned about are basic skills. Mastery of basic skills requires
          the accurate automatic retrieval of basic sequences.

          Every basic skill is an entire sequence that once fully imprinted in your child’s mind, will always be retrieved correctly and automatically. The fact that your son has mastered his reading basic skills is an example of his capacity to master basic sequences.

          Whenever a teacher talks about a basic skill, change this word to “sequencing.” If your child is having difficulty recalling math facts, change this and say “he is still developing automatic retrieval of a basic sequence that with repetition and time will be mastered.”

          The problem is not that children are not able to learn these. The problems are in the teaching of these basic sequences:


            If your child has not learned math facts accurately, then he/she will miss math facts over and over again for many years to come. However, then he will inappropriately be called careless. His grades will be used to justify that something is wrong with your child. Parents get called in to listen to often inaccurate conclusions such as he is not paying attention because he knows what is right on one day is wrong on another; he must have attention or memory problems so you should have him tested; he is the only one having this problem (every parent knows better); and much more...

            Development of accurate and automatic retrieval of basic sequences is part of natural development. The only way to teach a child his/her basic sequences is to know which ones are already mastered and which ones are not.

            What To Do: Focus on those not yet mastered. Have your child take three math facts and place note cards all over the house. Play with these and even make math problems with them. For example, we have 5 family members and 3 guests for dinner. How many settings do we need at the table? (5 +3 = 8.)

            As for spelling, get a list of Dolch words (the most commonly used words when we read and write). Begin to teach these. When your son writes sentences or paragraphs, make a list of misspelled words. Find patterns and teach the rules to the patterns (for example, “sion” and “tion”).

            Only parents can turn the tide of thinking that natural development can be assigned complete by a certain date. Refuse the myth that all children should be on the same page of a curriculum’s timeline that can do great harm, more so than good.

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            Education Reacculturation


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            Dear Dr. Fournier: My 3-year-old granddaughter is not in preschool, although all of her friends entered preschool at age 2. My daughter has exposed her to many things, trips to the zoo, children’s museums, art galleries, and such. She is what I call a normal kid, going to parks and playgrounds, riding MARTA (the subway system) to ballgames with her dad and just being a kid by playing at home and with friends. She is an extremely bright child and while my daughter has not pushed her to learn, she can count to 15, knows shapes, colors, and can print the alphabet extremely well for her age. Shouldn’t she be in pre-school and learning already?


            The Assessment: Your three-year-old granddaughter is already learning. Without pushing, yet with considerable exposure to learning tools (toys) and experiences, she is learning at her current natural developmental pace. Joyful and safe exposure with and by persons that love her uniqueness and are invested in maintaining and developing her desire to learn, as well as her learning, are doing an incredibly good job.

            How many of us were able to count to 15, know shapes and actually have the fine motor dexterity to print the alphabet by the age of 3? Not me.

            Why is it that if something is not broken, we are so easily convinced by fear tactics of pre-school marketers that our children should be there before they are ready or else they will be considered broken?

            And let’s not forget the politicians who convince society they will save education by getting to innocent fun-loving, learning children at a younger age with accelerated curriculums, diagnostic tests and labels and medication. They’d rather do that than deal with saving high schoolers close to a dead end life because they were killed by the education machine a year at a time, each year being convincing they were dumb and dumber, that they would never need math, that proper behavior was expected and if not genetically present, alternative measures of punishment or alternative schools would be enough to finish them off.

            Parents claim they want a normal child when Mom is pregnant - but they are lying. They, along with grandparents want a genius child as soon as they are born. This means that learning what is developmentally accessible to the child is demeaning as soon as anyone else says his/her child is learning “The Odyssey” in kindergarten!

            What To Do: The new word is “green.” The joke is that green no longer symbolizes the holy sacred dollar. It means putting nature and what is natural back in its place. It means respecting what we abused when mesmerized by having “more of whatever we wanted, no matter the price.”

            Now apply this to the children of our nation. They are the last bastion of our “greed,” in which we ask them to learn and do more at the price of their emotional safety, cognitive wellness and desire to learn. Can we begin to see that the old green, A+ hungry, accelerated curriculums are a black hole in which too many of our emotionally sick, medicated, diagnosed disabled, punished to the maximum, family-buster, uneducated youth have fallen and can’t get out?

            Can we as a nation go to the new green with our children? It starts by getting away from more and going to what is RIGHT!

            The President and his Secretary of Education can spend all the old green they want. They will continue to black hole our children until they spend money on re-educating and re-acculturating parents, grandparents and teachers that there is no greater natural resource we need to save than our children’s hearts and desires to learn, including those now in college.

            What could you possibly want your granddaughter to learn by the time she is four that can’t wait until five?

            The change starts with each of us. Green is the color of the day. Which green still drives you? That question is directed to everyone who has a chance of saving a child.

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            Pat On The Back v. Helping


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            Dear Dr. Fournier: I was just reading your article in the Examiner on parenting and I agree basically with your approach. With no parenting qualifying degrees, me and my late husband raised four offspring and are proud of them as adults.

            I have seen the problems and the problems are us parents and grandparents who don't have a clue that we should be in charge, and how to be in charge to achieve the outcome that is wholesome and produces productive adults in the end.

            I am currently volunteering on a project here in Little Rock with the "Children’s Defense Fund" to host a summit on the "Cradle to prison pipeline.” As we outline action plans, I want to do the parenting piece.

            I have been trying to find monies for one of the finest grassroots, systemic, world class parenting initiatives launched.  What do you know of resources and or foundations that could be helpful


            The Assessment: First, congratulations on your achievement. As proud as you are, your success is the result of your capacity to parent by living through disappointments, fear, pain, joy and every other emotion imaginable that every parent knows too well.

            A parent is the CEO of their child’s education. However, this is far easier for some parents to do than others facing barriers you don’t know because you have never faced them. For many families today the problem is that parents and grandparents do not know they should be, nor how they should be, these CEOs.

            However, to say that your solutions to the parenting issues you faced are THE solution for all parents clearly indicates that that you have not yet had a true grassroots experience.

            Grassroots movements know that we do not find answers in the grass – we find them in the roots.

            You will never know what systemic changes must be made to help all parents be CEOs until you are willing to know what you don’t know about the roots that love as you do yet laws and regulations keep them from food, water and sunlight.

            It is clear that to attempt systemic change you must know where the external systems fail and become barriers to parents so that they one day can say, “I did it! I raised my children to give and have hope,” as your children have.

            What To Do: Look at your title. Is this a conference title that says to parents, “Come to a safe place to get the tools to parent your child to success?”

            Who is your audience? Is it parents? If so, I would not go. I would know you have already pre-judged me and that you think you are saving my children from me! Is your audience the very political agents who must change the laws? If so, is this for self-serving reasons – let’s save ourselves from the evildoers?

            First, I strongly recommend you train in grassroots participation and leadership. You cannot give people your shoes to walk in as the solution to all their ills. However, you could walk in theirs and find out why you were successful and they were not.

            Ask yourself if you want a conference to have a platform to tell your success story or if you want a conference so more parents can have success stories. Organizations will be hard pressed to fund chatter sessions that make the righteous feel more righteous.

            For funding organizations I suggest you research the William T. Grant Foundation and The Woodrow Wilson National Fellowship Foundation. In addition, refer to Education Week, on line edition, March 16, 2009, “Education Philanthropy Catching a Chill as Economy Cools Charitable Giving,” which includes a table of the nation’s 10 wealthiest foundations. By researching each of these you may find the one that funds what you are interested in: grassroots research and development, systemic change, and/or national conferences.

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            Confront Unexpected Without Crisis Mode


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            Dear Dr. Fournier: My son is a seventh grader doing well until he got a 48 on a major test in a subject he had an A. Next, another teacher calls saying he is missing a homework assignment that will bring his B down to D if it is not turned in. Other than that, I have a really good kid, no behavior problems. I have punished him, taken everything away and he says he is sorry. When is he going to grow up and be responsible?


            The Assessment: Let’s start with the end of your letter about when your child will grow up.

            Even though the world may call your son a teenager, he is still a child, in the rehearsal years of school when grades do not count for life.

            Whatever happens later will depend on
            what you do now.

            From your actions toward him on this issue, he is learning how to handle problems with others when he is an adult. The way you are confronting him now is teaching him how to confront others now and later: with fear and irrationality. This is how he will act as a husband, a father and an adult in the workplace.

            School alerts parents of work habits a child is struggling with. With societal pressure for more education biting at their necks, teachers are being harassed to teach more content. Rather than teach good work habits, schools expect children to already have them. That means teaching work habits (also called work ethic) is up to you.

            What To Do: A child with an A usually does not have a problem learning content. So, find out what it was about this test that made a difference. You will not be able to know that without seeing the test and your son’s responses. Here are reasons I have found:


              As for missing homework, a child with an A usually does not knowingly self-sabotage. Here’s one example I discovered with a child: A teacher at her school asked the student to run an errand and while she was out of the classroom, gave assignments verbally. When she returned, no one told her the assignment, not even the teacher! Solution: Talk with your child and with the teacher about missing homework and make sure this is an oversight the teacher will not do again.

              With calmness, analysis and reasoning, each of your issues is easily dealt with. Even if your child makes all A’s, learning to confront the unexpected without a crisis mode will last a lot longer than the content he leans. Basic skills and work ethic are forever. Content changes and so will what your child must know from now to when he is 25 and older.

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              Stop Medicalization of Education


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              Dear Dr. Fournier: You recently advised parents to seek treatment for their ADD/ADHD children “only if absolutely needed.” ADD/ADHD is not just “a cluster of behaviors” or an “educational difficulty.” It is a neurological disorder. Is it possible that you may be marginalizing ADD/ADHD by way of wrong medical advice?


              The Assessment: Many books and print articles present studies funded by the pharmaceutical companies as “scientific” evidence. This often traps readers with one-sided arguments that cause them, sadly, to become biased crusaders for what amounts to speculations or hypotheses. They do not continue their search for the reliable scientific proof that many of these studies claim to uphold.

              Equally available are many studies, which challenge the reasonableness of diagnosing ADD/ADHD unerringly, ubiquitously, and uncritically. The outcome of a study begins and ends in its author’s unpublished assumptions. Those held about ADD/ADHD by pharmaceutical concerns invariably advocate medication for a condition that has no exact method of diagnosis.

              This is why, when a child is being “tested,” teachers and parents fill in questionnaires referring to three behaviors: inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsiveness. When parents’ and/or teachers’ scores, added up, reach a certain number, the responses suggest that the child has behaviors, which are “above the norm levels.”

              My husband and I have worked as a team for over 20 years. He is a developmental pediatrician and I am not just an educator, I am also a pharmacist.

              When a child is referred to us, we each conduct a careful assessment of that child for ADD/ADHD. Our goal is to keep both teachers and parents from diagnosing. It is for the physician to rule diagnoses in or out, and for the educator to prescribe educational strategies that prepare the child to rein in his/her impulses, avoid distractions, and control levels of activity.

              ADD/ADHD is not about choosing “to try medication.” Should amphetamines, psychologically addictive drugs, etc…, be “tried?”

              What To Do: I start at the opposite end: what not to do. Do not give medication to a child assuming this is “the” solution to behaviors the teacher considers disruptive and/or a hindrance to the child’s learning.

              First, trained educational counselors at our office implement an educational retooling program. The child’s homework is used for content. He/she develops new habits that gradually help them cope with distractions while still attending to teacher instructions or to the work at hand. Should the educational approach not have the desired effect within the time frame that the teacher and parent deem acceptable, medication may be prescribed.

              Medicines offer a window of opportunity to grasp the child’s maximum attention and improve his/her ways of dealing with school tasks and the expected behaviors. That window begins to close the moment the child starts on medication. Why? Because we would like to avoid an increase in dosage before change starts. This strategy works with almost all children whose parents have the courage to try it. Unfortunately, some are too scared by “what the teacher will say or do if she knows my child is not on medication” because the system, equally beholden to the dogmatic assertion that ADD/ADHD is a neurological – implying organic rather than functional – disorder, at times does retaliate against the parent.

              This country believes we must mend our weaknesses, thus we need “coping crutches.” When the crutch is an addictive drug whose long-term “collateral damage” has not been checked out by research, then I say, since developmental/educational treatment has a chance of working, try that first.

              If you disagree, at least read why Canada has banned Adderall® and why marketing of ADD/ADHD drugs must include warnings of the potential for increased suicidal tendencies. Gain awareness of “the other side of the story.” Understand that whether ADD/ADHD is organic or functional, the initial treatment should tame the symptoms at a safe cost, that of causing minimal side effects.

              And while we’re at it, let’s reject the medicalization of education.

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              HW Quality = School Quality


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              Dear Dr. Fournier: (Letter 1) I was asked why I gave homework and answered that is was to satisfy students and parents who equate the quantity of homework with the quality of the education being offered.
               
              As a student, I could sniff out busy work in an instant, and so can most students. I despised it, and I will not subject my students to that form of “edumacation.”
               
              So, how many math problems are needed to nail down a concept?  How many chapters of a textbook need to be outlined?
               
              Lansdale, PA 
               
              (Letter 2)
              My 5th-grader is bringing home very little homework. She is getting time at school to do most of it. She’s making good grades but I’m wondering what her teachers are not teaching if she has enough time at the end of her classes to do most all her homework. Some days she brings no homework at all home. Should I be concerned?

              Boston, Mass.


              The Assessment: There are two juxtaposing voices within the American School System. One is from the service provider’s position as with the teacher submitting the first question. The other is from the consumer’s point of view, the parent, as revealed with the second question above.

              The amazing thing about these two letters is that their views are usually in reverse. Teachers are usually the ones that give out busy work or “one size fits all” homework and parents often think their children are inundated with too much homework.

              As for the teacher, I admire his perspective. My guess is that not many of his colleagues at his school share his belief that homework is to extend learning and not for “edumacation” (numbing of the brain by monotone worthless doing.)

              If all teachers were like him, then students would be getting value from their homework. Sadly, most teachers issue large homework assignments without regard to how much they are giving and the quantity results in “edumacation.”

              If students are on overkill, then they must concentrate more on finishing the work than thinking and learning.

              Each night, students must calculate how much time it will take to complete all homework assignments in a manner that shows their intelligence and with presentation that honors their dignity (clean, neat work to hand in as opposed to crumpled, torn paper with smudges on it).

              Homework should uplift, not destroy a child’s personal and home life yet this is exactly what happens when teachers assign large quantities of busy work.

              As for the mother, she is questioning whether it should be quantity over quality, and the answer is absolutely not.

              Most children go to school and simply get assignments each day that the parent must use as if he or she is home schooling every night. The cramming and the fatigue of the day together with the fear of a bad homework grade result in fighting and screaming during family time at home.

              It is no wonder so many children tell their parents they don’t have homework when they do or that they hide their poor grades from parents.

              What To Do: We must recognize that rather than an American School System we have an American Do What You Want School System.

              Schools have the right to overload a child with homework and destroy family time. The amount has become synonymous with the image of the school. It is good, mediocre or poor school with the school that hands out the most homework getting the “good” moniker.

              The value your child places on himself or herself will be tied in great part to your perception of his or her achievement. If you think the school is mediocre, then your child will think A’s are a mediocre achievement. This could unwittingly belittle children and give them the idea that they have a limited capacity for achievement.

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              Superintendant Demands Board Attention


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              Dear Dr. Fournier: I am on a school board with a brilliant 37-year-old school superintendent who gets good results but wants total command and attention yet he’s oblivious to his 6-year-old-son’s hyperactivity. At times, the child is uncontrollable in school! Should we speak to him and suggest he get his son tested for ADD/ADHD?


              The Assessment: By your indication, you are speaking for the board, using the plural pronoun, “we.” You say he wants total command and attention, inferring you have abdicated or at least have allowed him to usurp the board’s authority. I am always concerned when I get letters that indicate a board fears its school superintendent.

              You believe he is “successful” and “gets good results,” yet what does this mean? Ask 10 people and you’ll get 10 different answers because we have no unified, national definition of what “good results” or “success” is.

              Your superintendent may need to learn the story of the cobbler’s son.

              Regarding the child, there is absolutely no way you can know
              why this child is out of control. ADD/ADHD may not even remotely be the issue. (For additional information, see my recent columns on ADD/ADHD.) The child may be exhibiting learned behavior from his father, i.e., how his father deals with the board and others, I suspect.

              Maybe teachers are afraid of setting boundaries for the child in fear of repercussions from the superintendent. Has anyone taught his child that regardless of what his father allows him to do at home, the child has different rules to follow at school? Maybe Dad’s autocratic rule at the office goes home with him and school is the only place where the child can escape his father’s heavy hand and be just like him.

              This man may be so focused on ruling at school that he is not parenting at home. Maybe he lacks parenting skills or possibly he is guilty of “children gone wild” parenting (letting them do as they please).

              What To Do: The only way to help the cobbler’s son is to change yourself first. Take back your power, yet do it in a compassionate and tactful way by speaking with him privately about his domineering tendency. And take him off the pedestal the board has him on. He is only human and may need a reminder that he is demanding is a poor substitute for cooperation and collaboration with the board.

              Next, focus on the child’s issue. Speak to him about his son’s behavior as if he were any parent in your school system, again in a tactful manner. Most important: under no circumstance should you recommend testing for ADD/ADHD. You absolutely do not have the adequate information to know why the child behaves as he does and neither do I.

              The child may not have been taught proper school behavior or he could have a receptive/expressive language disorder. He may be the child of a previous marriage searching for his position in a new family, or he could have a developmental delay in sequencing causing extreme anxiety, distraction and frustration as he attempts to learn basic skills. He may have a fine motor coordination problem that does not allow him to do all the written work expected of a first grader. The list of possibilities goes on and on.

              By asking him questions about the child, you may get a better indication of why the child is acting the way he is. Only then will you be able to suggest to him that he might want to start with having the child tested by a qualified education counselor and/or seen by a developmental pediatrician. Professionals should do the diagnosing, not you or the father.

              Hopefully pointing out to your “successful” superintendent that his child has no shoes will make him think twice about his own ego and how he deals with all those around him.

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              Homework: The Good, Bad & Ugly


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              Dear Dr. Fournier: We’re back from spring break and teachers are loading down my children with homework. This has been a problem all year but their teachers are really dumping it on now. Is there any literature on this? What would you advise?


              The Assessment: Once upon a time, homework was beneficial for children. Instead of being what it should be, it has become a joke in this country. There are parents that think the more homework a school dishes out, the better that school must be. Seeing the marketing benefit to this, many schools, especially private, have touted this fact in their advertising.

              After 30 years of seeing what comes into my after school program as homework, I am totally amazed that our children are learning anything. The quality of learning is the poorest I’ve ever seen. Children are memorizing and not understanding what they “learn” nor are they being asked to demonstrate application of knowledge. They are certainly not developing critical thinking skills.

              Another incorrect supposition that has permeated schools in this country is that “more is better.” Alas, we have sacrificed quality for quantity.

              What To Do: There are three kinds of homework:


                Parents are finally getting fed up with the first two kinds of homework and there is a movement slowly developing in the country against all homework as a result.

                I suggest you read the book, “The Case Against Homework: How Homework Is Hurting Children and What Parents Can Do About It,” by Sara Bennett and Nancy Kalish. There is not one example I have read in the book that I haven’t lived through when counseling families in the last 30 years, yet I caution you. While this is a good book, there is a case
                for homework, when it is homework that develops recall of unmastered basic skills and develops the mind. Bad homework is simply a symptom of a bad system. 

                Make appointments with your children’s teachers to discuss the three kinds of homework and ask them what you can do to make sure your children are getting only mind wealth-building homework. Talk with other parents and find that agree with useless hmework, suggesting they meet with teachers on this issue as well.

                In recent years, parent-led coalitions have had the most success in changing the system, so build a coalition of parents to lobby the school for change in the status quo from doling out stupid and destructive homework to assigning the mind wealth-building kind. After all, you are the CEO of your child’s education until he or she is old enough to assume that role. The teachers and schools are merely the taxpayer’s hired hands and you’re throwing away yours and other taxpayer’s money if you do not get educated on this issue and work to settle for nothing less than an a mind-wealth education for your child.

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                Documentary Shows Disparity In Education


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                Dear Dr. Fournier: I have a 13-year old son and an 11-year old daughter in the public school system. They are making good grades, As and Bs. I thought they were doing fine until at a recent parent-teacher conference, we watched the movie, “Two Million Minutes.” Now I’m worried that their As and Bs mean nothing. Have you seen this movie? What do you think about it? What advice can you give on this?


                The Assessment: 2 Million Minutes is Robert Compton’s documentary on the tsunami of global literacy being led by India and China. It infers children in the United States school systems are less concerned with learning and more concerned with sports and social activities. The inference is that our decades-old education model is not working, which is what I’ve been saying for many years.

                I have worked with students for 30 years and I see A and B students every day that have learned nothing. They memorize well but they can’t apply what they’ve memorized. Their parents see this and bring them to me because I teach children how to become the CEOs and visionaries of their own education, how to set goals for themselves, and how to mesh their talents with their passions. This is what India and China seem to be teaching, based on my interpretation of his documentary, and what we are
                not teaching in our school systems.

                These children I counsel do not know how to plan their future with even the slightest research, imagination or wisdom since many a career they are contemplating will soon disappear or doesn’t pay the six-figure salary they thought it did.

                An A means nothing if a child cannot take what he or she has learned an apply it to create new knowledge.

                I congratulate Compton. Someone in this country finally asked the “right” question: Is the U.S. school system educating our current and future generations to know how to collaborate and work with the global economy/community? Compton’s documentary reveals how well China and India, emerging super powers, are educating their future leaders. Above all, he infers that countries interested in progress, and in the future of their children, are not using the U.S. school system as a role model for education. WHY? Because our model no longer works and each day we delay creating a new one, we are teaching our children to be the laborers for these new emerging superpowers.

                Compton was motivated to search further when he realized that first graders in India and China had aspirations. As a result, he continued his efforts with two more documentaries,
                2 Million Minutes In India, A Deeper Look, and 2 Million Minutes In China, A Deeper Look.

                What To Do: Go back to your parent-teacher association and suggest your group watch these additional two documentaries then recommend all three be shown to the students. Start a dialog at parent-teacher meetings about things at your children’s school that need to change so that they not only keep up with this global literacy movement but that they get ahead of it and if need be, draft suggestions for change that your parent-teacher group can present to the school administration and to your local school board as well as to political/community leaders.

                After your children have seen all three documentaries, sit down with them and discuss them. Then ask your children what their goals for their lives are and if they do not have any yet, start the process now. Have them research the fields they may want to go into.

                Make sure your children are applying what they have “learned” for those good grades. Ask them to demonstrate to you how they might apply their knowledge. And remember, you ultimately are responsible as the parent for making sure they get the education they need to be the CEO of their successful adult life.

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                2010 Education budget proposal


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                Dear Dr. Fournier: President Obama’s education section of the 2010 budget to me just says more money for more testing. Why can he not see testing and standards cannot take the place of learning and knowledge?


                The Assessment: The following excerpt is taken from Obama’s recent budget proposal under the category of education:

                Strengthens and reforms public schools to meet the needs of all students, by helping States to develop high quality, rigorous standards and assessments, vigorously supporting and rewarding effective teaching, and investing in and widely disseminating effective approaches to improving student achievement to help all students make progress toward high standards.”

                I had such hope when he was elected that he would actually bring about the change he promised, yet these words are just more political “lyrics” put to music and sung as powerfully as Aretha Franklin sang at his inauguration.

                They render the illusion that our values, hopes and dreams as American citizens finally deserve action rather than lip service, and a firm promise rather than rhetoric, yet this is what we got: lip service and rhetoric with a big chunk of money to keep alive an antiquated education model rather than creating a new education paradigm.

                His words from that same speech to Congress are as superficially heart-throbbing as the others:

                “In a global economy where the most valuable skill you can sell is your knowledge, a good education is no longer a way to opportunity, it is a pre-requisite.”

                Yet, in the context of education, what is knowledge?

                What To Do: What we need to do is make sure children are learning to use the strategy, Data-Info-Knowledge™.

                Data is what a teacher gives a student. There are two types of data: what we can change and what we cannot.

                I must take the data and covert it to
                Information. Recently, a couple brought me their son, who is having a problem with math, for testing. He has a grade of C- and I can change that. I cannot change that he is 10 years old or the problems in the home and from outside influences. Until I can express in my own words the data that has been given to me, I am a person who happens to know nothing unique.

                Students go to school not to receive knowledge but to receive data (a skill perfected in elementary school). Teaching to standardized tests does nothing but show the level to which a child can memorize data and nothing more.

                When children acquire the skills to access data on their own, they must enter into the process of creating their own information (a skill introduced in elementary school but weighted much less, and mastered by the end of middle school). It is at this point that our children begin creating their own
                Knowledge.

                When a child merely recalls on tests or aloud what teachers have said, he/she is merely recalling data and someone else’s information. It is never
                their knowledge. Knowledge had to come from them. That is the crossroad all future students and workers must come to.

                I am sick of hearing the counterfeit phrase, “Knowledge is power.” It is not!

                We are living in an era of the redistribution of power and wealth, which I first stated was happening at least 20 years ago. I also said at that time the phrase should actually be, “He or She Who Creates
                New Knowledge Will Rule And Lead the Rest.”

                This is what other countries are doing and it would be wise for President Barack Obama and Education Secretary Arne Duncan to demand a new education paradigm based on this.

                As I have often heard, “The person who knows how will always be needed, but the person who knows why will always be the boss.”

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                District of Crisis


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                Dear Dr. Fournier: I frequently read with interest your articles that appear in the Corpus Christi Caller Times. I, too, am involved in education, having attended and taught school and served on a school board for many years. I now am on a college board. I continuously look for solutions to our present problems in education, especially in public schools. I just read your article about Michelle Rhee where you said she had the “near impossible” task of fixing the D.C. public school system. What is your solution?


                The Assessment: I did say Ms. Rhee faces a near impossible battle to win, that of “fixing” the DC public school system but our educational system is doing the job that it was created for, that of teaching the minimum knowledge and work ethic needed for the Industrial Era. The problem is that we are far removed from the Industrial Era yet we’re still teaching the that era’s ethic: memorization (for rote tasks on an assembly line); following a job description or process to the letter (the company’s way of doing it, even though you know a better, quicker or less costly way); how to compete with co-workers to win the best employee award (obedience award); the sense that once you get a job with a company, you’re entitled to it for life so you can coast (called “having paid your dues”); and that you should not question things and leave your solutions and creativity at home (called “don’t rock the boat” so you won’t be labeled a troublemaker).

                Even though the Industrial Era ethic has no way of taking this country forward in this new millennium, the same work ethic is still being beaten into our kids. And they are sending us the urgent message that they are ahead of their teachers, administrators and our politicians though the Internet, Facebook, and so much more. They know the world has changed and what teachers are teaching them is as outdated as the
                prison system schools from which this foolish content is disseminated.

                What To Do: For some unexplainable reason, this nation thinks it could fix a broken horse and buggy and then go win a NASCAR race!

                While the horse and buggy is an important part of history, it no longer meets the population’s need for an effective/efficient mode of transportation. So, you can’t fix the horse and buggy so that it will work for today’s need. You have to create and build new models. This is the case with our school system, so it is not broken, just outdated like the horse and buggy.

                Until we can as a nation change what the product of education needs to be, not memorization, not teaching to the test, not studying, not learning, but
                knowing, our kids’ next challenge will be to find a country still willing to employ obsolete minds. You can’t create a product, service or machine until you have had the courage to define the need not yet known. Steve Jobs/Apple did this with the iPod. He didn’t try and fix the 8-track.

                Bronowski in “The Ascent of Man” says the genius is not the person who gives the right answer. It is the person who asks the right question. The question is, “How can you expect to fix an Industrial Era school system to produce workers for a Creative/ Synergetic Era?”

                The answer is so simple, it’s embarrassing: You can’t. Unfortunately Dinosaurs still rule in the United States. In other countries they never had the Dinosaurs to contend with so their children’s minds are being taught to rule. Cowardice to tear down a horse and buggy unionized school system is the root of all evil and the solution is to build a new model of transportation, not try and fix the old one.

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                Teamworking Discipline


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                Dear Dr. Fournier: I am the stepfather of two boys, 11 and 17 years old. I raised three boys of my own (28, 30 and 31) and I think I did a pretty good job, defined by the fact they are living on their own. I don’t pay their bills and I didn’t have to hassle them about their homework when they were kids! The 17-year-old is the problem. He refuses to do his homework and thinks he rules the house. He demands we respect him. Where did the respect of child shown to parent go? I am for discipline but my wife just gives in to him. How do I get her to see this is not the way to raise a child?


                The Assessment: As a Boomer, my Greatest Generation parents taught me my own survival depended on knowing when to open my mouth and when to not even dare look sideways. I was taught to do as I was told, do my homework, and to not ask questions. My parents reminded me constantly that they worked for me, sacrificed for me, and that I’d better be grateful.

                Yet the world was telling my generation to be free. Elvis was dancing and rock was in. With the advent of television, advertising permeated America’s living rooms and quickly became one of the most effective, persuasive, and popular methods of selling products that were glamorized by a life projected as somehow better than the viewers, unless of course the viewer had the goods or services being advertised (consumerism).

                Boomer children were seeing more and wanting more and with that came the taking of liberties while obedience and responsibility took a back seat. What was happening here was something called
                disconnect of generations.

                As Generation X grew up, they were bombarded by marketing messages on TV as well as from music, friends, teachers, and even at church. By the time Generation Y and Z came along, social networking sites were added and children are now blasted from all sides with the message to “be your own boss” and “excess is best” and thus the ethic of the Silent Generation has gone by the highway.

                From this
                disconnect of generations came an attitude of contempt for authority and a desire to “do as I please,” and “get as much as I can by any means necessary.” (Is it any wonder this country is in the current financial mess?)

                What To Do: Today’s dilemma is whether we are going to be their parents or not.

                There are so many forces working in society that continuously tell our children that any good and redeeming values are worthless. Between marketing slogans and billboard and magazine pictures of what teens should look like and say, and television shows that use language even 17-year-olds should not be hearing, parents are made to look like idiots if they attempt to be parents.

                One of the toughest jobs in today’s world is parenting. Every parent has to know where to draw the line in what they will accept and what absolutely is not going to fly yet both parents must agree on this and both must stand behind it.

                No parent wants to stunt his or her child’s healthy emotional development. But no parent has to give in to the societal blabber that says it’s okay for children to “rule the roost.”

                You and your wife must make a list of what is acceptable behavior and what is not, sit both boys down and present this to them, and do it as a unified team. Tell them there is no negotiation. And if you cannot get your wife’s cooperation, I suggest marriage counseling is in order if you ever hope to decrease the effects of the generation gap.

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                Single Sex Schools


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                Dear Dr. Fournier: Our daughter has announced she wants to attend an all-girls college. I am ecstatic. My husband is not so sure this is best. Can you tell me if this is a good idea and if so, what are the advantages? Also, what colleges should we look at?


                The Assessment: While there have been many single-sex colleges and universities in this country in the past (both public and private) there are few privates ones remaining and those numbers are dwindling. I know of no public ones, due to landmark supreme court cases, such as the one in 1996 that required the Virginia Military Institute to admit women and the 1982 ruling that ordered Mississippi University for Women to admit men.

                Today, “single-sex” education almost exclusively refers to education at the elementary, secondary, or postsecondary level in which males or females attend school exclusively with members of their own sex. Research in the United States on the question of whether single-sex education is productive or counterproductive for girls and boys has been limited until recently. There has been a resurgence of single-sex schools in the public sector, and it appears there is merit. Test scores show improvement when girls and boys are apart in the classroom, many findings are now showing.

                Leonard Sax is a psychologist and family physician and the author of the book,
                Why Gender Matters and Boys Adrift. He is also the founder and executive director of the National Association for Single Sex Public Education (www.singlesexschools.org).

                A
                Time magazine article published in March 2005 on the subject included this statement: “Until recently, there have been two groups of people: those who argue sex differences are innate and should be embraced and those who insist that they are learned and should be eliminated by changing the environment.” Please see the full text of this article at http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1032301-3,00.html

                Sax, I believe is objective enough in his work and writings for me to agree with
                Time and place him in neither category. He maintains that boys and girls are innately different and that we must change the environment so differences don’t become limitations. I wholeheartedly agree.

                In Memphis, Tennessee, Alisha Kiner, principal at Vance Middle School says she has seen huge increases in test scores from having sex-separate classrooms since 2006. There are several experiences like Principal Kiner’s I have discovered and I expect to see more.

                What To Do: If your child has made her decision about a single-sex college or university, she must have her reasons. These reasons should not be taken lightly as they will affect her future. And, decisions on where she will attend college should not be made without input from you and her father. Choosing the discipline or subject that she would like to study and which college she will attend is paramount to anything related to her future ability to get a good job and be bright enough with sustainability to get and keep the best jobs the globalized world will have to offer her.

                As for women’s colleges in the United States, you can check the list at:
                http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women%27s_colleges_in_the_United_States.
                Only four all-men’s colleges remain: Wabash, Morehouse, Hampden-Sydney, and St. John’s.

                You and your husband should sit down with your daughter and discuss with her how she arrived at the notion she wanted to attend a single-sex institution of higher learning. As for which single-sex college or university is best? The one where she will be able to appreciate her talents as she becomes empowered by emerging herself fully into her passion in an environment unencumbered by the ignorance of a one-size-fits-all education. Show her how much you and your husband love her and care about her future by going with her to visit several of the colleges. Make sure her choice provides the equity that best fits her desires and makes her femininity an asset as she prepares to collaborate with others in the millennium world.

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