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Aug 2009
Old Style Discipline and Authority Won’t Work In Today’s World
August 18, 2009 12:00 PM Filed in: All Levels
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Dear Dr. Fournier: My son is back in school but at registration, I was handed a copy of the new discipline policy. On the first day of school, he and his classmates got an explanation of the policy and it has scared him to death. He cries, doesn’t want to go to school, and says he can’t do his work because he is afraid. He’s 9 years old and in the 4th grade. He has always been a happy child who loves to play and ask questions. I’m really worried. What should I do? Debbie M., Lexington, Ky. |
School has started back and my son’s school has started a card system to try and better manage the behavioral problems the school had last year with kids. If a child misbehaves, the child’s card is pulled. This continues for three card-pulls then the child is punished. An act of misbehaving can be something as simple as not having a pencil out. As a result, my son now feels like he is in prison and is so afraid of doing something wrong, he doesn’t want to do anything. How can he learn when he is filled with fear? Robert D., Birmingham, Ala.
Dear Debbie and Robert: Often I hear, “Remember the one-room schoolhouse?”
It was a time when teachers ruled with a hickory stick and the students all stayed in line.
This method may have worked well in the past but it will not prepare today’s students to be the collaborative decision-makers our country needs for the future and for the global world in which we live.
The Assessment: Schools of a past era – the Industrial Era, specifically – prepared students for a rote workforce where the need was for manual laborers to tend positions on an assembly line doing the same job, day in and day out, for the same supervisor.
Schools mimicked the structure that students would experience in the real world, and teachers maintained authoritative control with a standard discipline policy.
The problem is that schools are still teaching this way, yet the work environment for which our children are being prepared is fast disappearing and in fact, barely exists in this country. As such, the rigid policies and disciplines of the Industrial Era that are still being used in today’s schools are not going to produce the workforce of the future.
However, it seems to be producing quite a few college graduates that are turning up on parents’ doorsteps, jobless and ready to move back home.
If you have not read Thomas Friedman’s books, you should. I recommend The World Is Flat 3.0, and Hot, Flat and Crowded.
His first book is about the connectivity of the world and technological advances that have made it possible to do business almost instantly around the world. In his second book, Friedman talks about the rise of the middle class in the BRIC countries (Brazil, Russia, India and China) and how they are now consuming products like Americans have been for decades.
This can only mean one thing. Companies producing products and services for this new global consumer will likely require employees to be creative and collaborative to meet the needs of that new consumer. And since said companies probably have global offices, workers will be expected to be collaborative in a decision-making process that ensures appropriate social interaction among co-workers from various countries.
This is practically a mandate for changing how our classrooms are managed and how our children are being taught. If we want to prepare our children for the world Friedman describes, we should be teaching students in an entirely different way and as such, controlling the classroom in a different manner.
It is this one, of classroom control, which lies at the heart of your issues, Debbie and Robert.
Rather than viewing classroom behavior as a 30-to-l battle between students and teacher, schools need to mimic the emerging new world reality in which behavior is not mandated. Instead, behavior is the result of collaborative decision-making that ensures appropriate social interaction among students.
This rather radical change in the student-teacher relationship emphasizes the capacity to collaborate and to solve problems together, rather than the old structure of blind submission schools still rely on today.
Students and teachers must begin to work together to establish the rules and consequences for group behavior so that the responsibility for conduct is on everyone. In doing so, the learning environment is enhanced not diminished.
What To Do: Until schools change to meet the needs of today and the future, your children will need to deal with their fear of the system.
First, openly discuss with your children how schools responded to the needs of the past, teaching people how to obey, follow instructions, work independently and repeat what the teacher said. Explain to your child it was not out of meanness but out of necessity that our schools created such systems and are unfortunately, stuck in this mode of thought today.
Explain to them that even though today’s schools cling to the policies of the past, they will have a wonderful opportunity in the future to work with other people and make decisions together, not just follow directions.
To cope with the present system, legitimize your children’s fears. Talk with them about the moments in the day that they fear most. List these explicitly, and then have them find a solution and carry through with that solution.
For example, Robert, if your son is afraid of getting his card pulled because he doesn’t have a pencil ready, he could carry a pencil case in the front pocket of his book bag or put a mechanical pencil in his shirt pocket. If he is afraid of getting out the wrong book when it’s time for math, he could put different colored stickers on the book covers of each book so he can recognize each subject by its color.
The process of problem solving is important. Help your children brainstorm, evaluate ideas, test them and change what doesn’t work. Help them to be in control rather than be controlled.
Until schools begin to transition into teaching based on collaborative decision-making, parents must take on the responsibility of building reasoned thinking and collaboration in their children as a response to rigidity.
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Viewing Public Schools As A Corporation
August 11, 2009 12:00 PM Filed in: All Levels
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Dear Dr. Fournier: This year
my child will be entering first grade in a Little
Rock Public School. Recently, I had some spare
time and dropped in to visit the school. There
was a sign at the entrance that stated all
parents and visitors were to check in at the
front desk.
I stopped at the front desk and asked permission to walk through the school. I was told the principal was in a meeting and she was the only one who could take me on a tour. I explained I only wanted to take a peek at the school facilities and not to go into any classrooms. I was rudely told that this was unheard of and there would be an open house for new parents and students. I decided to visit two private schools the same day. I was very warmly greeted and immediately given a tour. They told me if I wanted to set an appointment to come back, they would take me into the classes. Do you have any suggestions for new parents who want to visit a public school? I dislike scheduled appointments, because I like to see what the school is like every day. Lisa M., Little Rock, Ark. |
Dear Lisa: When a child enters any school for the first time, no matter what his or her age or grade, the entire family is introduced to a new culture.
The Assessment: School will be your child’s home for at least six, maybe seven, hours a day Lisa. It is understandable you want to feel comfortable with both its educational and social aspects. All parents should desire this.
Unfortunately, culture shock often brings fear and intimidation. We are immediately confronted with new rules and new expectations that are so familiar to teachers and administrators, they can’t understand our frustration.
These frustrations often blend with a feeling of intimidation and parents back off, many staying away from their children’s schools. Teachers and administrators then misinterpreted this distancing as a lack of interest on the parents’ part. A gap occurs or is perceived as such, hurting the positive relationship needed between parents and teachers/administrators for a learning partnership that is supportive of the child.
What To Do: Lisa, I want you to look at the school through different eyes, professional not emotional. If it’s a public school, view it as a corporation in which you have purchased stock (in the form of taxes or tuition). Your dividend is the education, not just schooling, of your child. As a parent, you have a seat on the board of directors and with extensive knowledge of the company’s goals and operations; you have a voice in its policies.
Perhaps you need to do some research by talking to other directors (parents) and the company’s employees (teachers and administrators).
Just as you would make a professional appointment to meet a doctor, lawyer or CEO for the first time, you should also use this formal way of introducing yourself at your child’s school. At this professional appointment, however, you should be ready for an open discussion of goals, expectations, established policies and procedures, and other aspects of the school culture. Once knowledgeable, inform the school of your intention to visit without appointment.
However do not jump to hasty conclusions. Be prepared to observe your child’s school on numerous occasions and not come to judgments based on one visit. Gather knowledge from a variety of sources, teachers and other parents to complement your own observations.
It is important to attend PTA meetings and to participate in your child’s school culture. Having complete knowledge is more than important. It is imperative. This is the only weapon against your own fear and intimidation, and it is the basis for your effective participation in your child’s education.
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Help Your Child Understand What Time Really Means
August 04, 2009 12:00 PM Filed in: Elementary
School
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Dear Dr. Fournier: School’s
about to start and I think my wife and I are more
stressed about it than my son is. Every year we
go through the same thing. He comes in from
school, goes to the break room in my office, gets
a snack and a Coke, gets out his iPod Touch and
plays games on it until I close the office and we
go home at 5:00 p.m.
Sometimes he starts his homework while his mother and I fix dinner. Sometimes he waits until after dinner. More times than I care to mention last school year, it took him until almost 10 p.m. to finish his homework! He starts everything with, “I can’t do this,” or, “It’s dumb, Dad.” He’ll sit in the living room at his desk and daydream or chew his fingernails or just sit while I prod and then scream for him to get going on his homework. This year he goes into the sixth grade and I know he will have more work to do. I know this is the point he should not have to have me on his back constantly about homework. I wrote to you about this time last year with this problem and you suggested in your column to use your timer strategy but he said he wasn’t a baby. We feel like we’re running out of time with him, still trying to persuade him to take advantage of his opportunity to get a good education. What else can we do? David M., Kennett, Mo. |
Dear David: Your son has a time management issue, one in which he doesn’t fully understand time and what he can accomplish within a fixed amount of time. This is causing him to procrastinate because he can’t relate to what time really means and thus he doesn’t know how much homework he can do in a fixed amount of time.
We live hurried lives; let’s face it. Almost from the time our children are born, time means “hurry,” which means stress. As parents, we are doubly stressed by time and by our desire for more of it, and by our children’s complete disregard for it.
The Assessment: On a typical school day we begin by telling our kids to, “Hurry up and eat breakfast or you’ll be late for school.”
Then we end the day by reminding them, “Hurry up and get cleaned up, brush your teeth and get your pajamas on because it’s time for bed.”
During the time in between, our children listen to school bells to tell them when to start and finish their work.
No wonder they look at teachers in disbelief when one says, “Don’t rush; take your time because you have 10 minutes to complete this quiz.” They have no clue what 10 minutes on the clock really means or how to use it properly.
How else then can a child interpret the meaning of time? Time to children means short, rushed, crowded and/or hurried. As students, they often tune out to protect themselves from the hectic pace.
Before a child can learn to use time wisely, he must first learn a realistic definition of what time is.
What To Do: As soon as a child can tell time or count by fives, he or she should have an analog watch to use for school and homework assignments.
So David, it’s time to replace your timer with an analog watch - not a digital one. Make sure your son uses an analog watch to do his homework (and no, the digital clock on his iPod Touch will not do). No wristwatch either, not even an analog one, and I’ll explain why in a moment.
The analog watch will help him visually redefine time as space, allowing him to see the area between 2:15 and 2:30, on the face of the watch. This will also help him define time as empty space with no connotation of hurriedness.
Using the analog watch as a picture of time, you can teach him how to learn what he can realistically and effectively accomplish in a certain or fixed amount of time which has now become “space” on the analog watch.
Make sure the analog watch is on the break room table in your office or at home on his desk where he can view it as he is doing his homework so that he can check the time without losing concentration. For this reason, your child should not look at a watch on his wrist or up at a wall clock that breaks his train of thought and interrupts his ability to work within his known limits (the space on the clock face).
At the start of each new homework assignment, have your son tell you where the big hand of the watch will be when he finishes. Then tell him, “This is how much space you have.”
As your son travels through space, he will also learn to assess his own working capacity. At the end of the allotted time, discuss with him what he accomplished within that space. Once he is comfortable with the new process, let his teacher know he will be using his analog watch on his desk at school to complete assignments.
And David, have your son put away the iPod Touch until the homework is done. He’ll see he has plenty of time to play his games now that he knows his working capacity and knows procrastination is not necessary.
It’s important to redefine time to eliminate stress and hurry, but it’s also essential for your son to develop self-recognition of his working capacity. That’s not just a skill for school, but one for life and for the workforce of the future.
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