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Skill Sets
Problem solving homework is most valuable
October 30, 2007 12:00 PM
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Dear Dr. Fournier: I enjoyed reading the article “Learning math by repetition isn’t for all.” I am a 71-year-old retired chemical engineer that studied math many years ago in both high school and engineering school. To me, math was an interesting experience that taught me how to solve problems – a skill I used later in life. Math was difficult because it taught me to think, and I learned valuable skills by practicing and applying math throughout my education. I don't feel the typical student today spends enough time doing homework, especially in areas such as math. In my opinion, solving problems is the best way for students to learn, and homework gives them more opportunities for practice. |
The Assessment: Homework that includes problem solving is an excellent way for students to learn and develop critical thinking skills, but too often homework involves strict memorization and repetition. I don’t agree that more homework is necessarily a good thing, and many of our nation’s schools equate a good education with the more-is-better approach to homework. When emphasis is placed on quantity instead of quality, the consequences for students can be reprehensible.
I once counseled a student because she wanted to be prescribed Ritalin® (an amphetamine), despite being an honor student. It turned out that she was desperately looking for a lifeline, something that would allow her to stay up until 3 a.m. every night to finish her homework. While “real world” jobs and other commitments sometimes keep us working late, most people do not perform their best working until 3 a.m. each day. Employers do not expect that from their workers, and teachers should not expect that from their students. In today’s global workplace, emphasis is placed on working smarter – not longer hours.
Education prepares children for the future, turning them into life-long learners. This is impossible without teaching students to love new information and to see learning as an adventure. Homework should not be busy work, nor should its quantity be the means by which a school justifies its tuition to parents. Instead, homework is a tool that ensures children can independently perform tasks learned at school.
Once students understand the new concept, that knowledge should be utilized to solve problems and create solutions. A physician, for example, doesn’t memorize the processes of mitosis and cell respiration so that she can simply recite the information in the future. She studies those building blocks of biology so that one day she can cure disease. In the same way, homework is the means to an end. Once students understand the concept learned in school, time is better spent applying the new knowledge in exciting and creative ways.
What To Do: Quantity is not a substitute for quality. Ideally, students should be given some practice problems, but these problems should be followed by something that requires application – using the new skills in a comprehensive way. This process may take more than one night so the child can think, ask others their thoughts, and further investigate new ideas. The best education teaches students to assimilate new information creatively, and it is based on the quality – not the quantity – of tasks.
Admittedly, most students (as well as parents) prefer to mechanically answer twenty problems from memorization. It is undoubtedly simpler to mindlessly complete rote problems than it is to actively learn. Getting an education and just “getting it done” are polar opposites on the learning scale. Is it any wonder that so many college students earn their degree before deciding what they want to do with their lives? When this is the view of education, it becomes a way of life and they wonder why they receive a pink slip instead of a promotion.
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Helping a grieving child
October 23, 2007 12:00 PM
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Dear Dr. Fournier: I worry
about my 7th grade daughter because she has a
hard time staying focused in school, and her
teachers are already considering testing for
attention problems. She gets frustrated easily if
she cannot understand a new concept or complete a
new task right away. She wants everything to come
easily. If it doesn't, then she gives up – unless
it's something she's really interested in. If it
captures her interest, then she stays focused
until she learns it.
I believe my daughter’s challenge is somehow related to her father’s battle with cancer. My husband was in and out of the hospital for four years. Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but sometimes I wonder how deeply this has affected her. Fortunately, my husband is now cancer-free and doing great. What do you think? |
The Assessment: As owner of a business, I have more employees asking for time off to take their pets to the doctor than I do for employees asking for time to take family members. Our love for pets in this nation is growing as fast as the industry is able to come up with new food, clothes, and even hotels for them. Now, in the city of Nochigi, China, the first canine nursing home has been established at the price of $800 a month. It won’t be long before this new service hits the United States.
Why am I talking about the pet industry? Because so many of you have pets and know what I am talking about. Now replace the word “pets” with “dads.” Suddenly, that love grows even more. Love is an incredible thing, and when the one you love is at risk, the fear of loss tops all priorities.
How many students can take off school and spend the day with a parent while dad or mom gets their chemotherapy? How many of them can openly say, “My dad’s hair is falling out, and I am afraid he is going to die?” Answering questions from a social studies book on the Louisiana Purchase is impossible when you are wondering at school if your dad – the one that used to take you to the park, coached your soccer team, and liked bubblegum ice cream just like you did – is going to die. What is it about our school systems that can’t understand that grieving is a human process and not just for adults?
What To Do: When I give conferences, teachers and parents always ask me for suggestions regarding what they should read. For 27 years I have said no one should teach until they have read Death and Dying by Kubhler Ross.
Ross teaches us that grieving is a process, not a single event. The stages of grieving are anger, denial, negotiation, depression, and finally acceptance. A child whose parent has lived with cancer has lost the safety of feeling invulnerable based on the unconditional belief that the parent will always be there, that the parent’s unique and unconditional love will hug them as they solve their problems and heal their wounds.
In my practice, I have honestly seen more attention given to someone who has lost a pet than to a child who has lost a parent. We need a national program for all teachers to learn how to teach a grieving child. The grieving process doesn’t always happen in that order, yet it is not difficult to identify where a child is in the stages of grieving. Knowing how to care for the heart – as you teach the mind – could help our children learn that love will take them through the process toward acceptance and growth. As we teach our children that we care we may also be creating a society that understands that caring is a better solution when they are adults which is more effective than labels and criticism.
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The pros and cons of memorization
October 18, 2007 12:00 PM
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Dear Dr. Fournier: In a recent newspaper article, you said that students should focus less on strict memorization, emphasizing more comprehensive strategies that promote learning. But before students can become independent thinkers, don't they need to learn basic facts that unfortunately can only be acquired through memorization? Doesn't memorization, as well as the different ways to organize information, make it easier to retrieve information from the brain? Wouldn't these be considered learning strategies? |
The Assessment: Indeed, students must simply memorize a certain amount of information so they can retrieve it when they need to use it. For example, "A" is the first letter of the alphabet, and a chair is called a chair -- not a box or a table. These are facts that a student must simply remember, and most of this basic data is obtained at an early age.
Unfortunately, the same approach used for memorization is often applied to concepts for which more intricate thought should be applied. Memorization is an approach conducive neither to learning nor to creating independent thinkers. Instead, memorizing information is like receiving money as a gift and hoarding that money in a safety deposit box. While the money may be safe, it doesn't grow or gain interest, and it can't be used to improve the quality of your life.
Memorization is neither a learning strategy nor a means through which a student can become an independent thinker. Think about it: how long would any of us remembered the alphabet had it simply been taught and never used again? We remember the alphabet because we began to use it almost immediately by writing letters to create words. Likewise, we used the sounds each letter represents in order to read words.
The same applies to all data that is simply memorized and not used. Students who memorize a poem can recite it for a short while, but have they learned anything? However, if students "see" the words of a poem as a picture created for the mind, then the essence and message of the poem will be remembered. Though students may not be able to recite the words exactly, they understand what the poet intended. Memorization views the poem as a group of words; the second approach understands it as a picture rich with details. Which learning strategy encourages students to write poetry in the future?
What To Do: Encourage your child to think. Ask your child about his/her schoolwork whether they are reading a story, studying for a test, or completing math homework in class.
Teachers' study guides are one of modern education's greatest enemies. Every night parents across this nation help their children "study" by reading questions from study guides to their children. In response, the students regurgitate previously provided answers -- the "right answers" already approved by teachers. This is nothing more than rote memorization, quickly forgotten once the test is over.
Start off learning time by asking your child what the test is to cover. The child should be able to summarize the information for you. If your child cannot summarize the information and provide answers to obviously basic questions, a study guide is useless. If he/she can participate in a meaningful discussion concerning the information, a study guide becomes a tool to assess the depths of the student's comprehension.
While this distinction may seem small, the effect on future learning and thinking is immeasurable. Students who memorize data don't learn to create information from their own vision. Even if they can recall the data over time, they may not be able to apply it to new and novel situations. The retained information may make them great partners at trivia games, but it will not help educate insightful visionaries capable of creating desperately needed new knowledge.
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Students need to understand instead of memorize
August 28, 2007 12:00 PM
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Dear Dr. Fournier: In a recent column, you said that students should utilize strategies that promote learning, but you also said that study skills courses were antiquated and not very useful. I don’t understand. Isn’t that what a study skills class is? Students are taught different ways to organize information they learn in a way that makes it easier to retrieve in the future. For example, my daughter took a study skills class and learned different tricks for memorization. Those skills help her sustain focus and make it easier to remember information taught in school. |
The Assessment: As much as the world has evolved and progressed, we still fail to understand the difference between “studying” and “learning.”
To study is to examine intensively. “Studying” basically means to stare at something; it is a process through which information is committed to memory. While studying may transpose something to the brain, it does not change the person or the student’s perspective. The memorized information remains accessible as long is it is accessed frequently. If the information stops being accessed, it will cease to be available.
Learning is a much more complicated process. It involves understanding. It is an active and continual process that provides texture, meaning and ownership. Once information has been learned, it becomes a guidepost through which the brain may then assess new information. During the learning process, a person evolves and develops a new perspective. Learned information creates building blocks on which future concepts will be stored, thus developing and increasing a person's wealth of creative ideas. This information, continuously augmented, does not simply lie dormant. It is actively woven into the fabric of the student’s mind.
The difference between “committing to memory” and “understanding” is as distinct as the difference between the expectations of employers in the 1950s and those of future employers. Previously, students were prepared to enter a work environment where they would repeatedly perform the same task. Today, computers and other types of machinery perform those menial tasks. People, on the other hand, perform far more complicated tasks that rely on critical thinking.
What To Do: Expect more from your child and the educational system. Too many children go to school and sit at their desks expecting the teacher to simply transfer information to their brains. The human mind is more than a warehouse for storing kernels of information. Instead, the process should be analogous to planting seeds each day that will grow into beautiful flowers that cross pollinate to create new and exotic species.
When discussing subjects and homework with your child, dig deep and get some detail. For example, if your child says she is learning about flowers in science class, ask what specific flowers. Let's assume your child clarifies by explaining that the topic was really the parts of a flower. Ask your child what the different parts of a flower are. Wonder aloud whether your own flowers, real or artificial, have these parts. Check and see if they do.
What have you and your child accomplished? First and foremost, you have spent time interacting with your child. Second, you have taught the creative learning skills that are necessary in today’s global economy. Your child hasn’t just memorized a new fact or figure. Instead, she will have learned to probe the depths of new information. She also will have a desire for more information, learning to integrate all she learned during the process. Most importantly, you have encouraged your child to think beyond what we know today. Instead, she will look to what could be. This is called knowledge, and it leads to imaginative thinking for a rapidly changing world.
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How to add reading to your child's artistic creativity
July 24, 2007 12:00 PM
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Dear Dr. Fournier: I
recently read your article about bright kids
with strengths in various areas, and I wanted to
ask your opinion about my 7-year-old
daughter who is entering the second grade. She
struggles with reading and spent first grade in a
special program to help her in this subject.
Although she has a difficult time reading, my
daughter’s "bright spot" is her art.
She spends her time drawing and creating things,
and her art is totally incredible – she can
imagine things that most
people wouldn't see.
One of her favorite ways to express herself is through “writing” books. She thinks about a topic, draws a succession of pictures, staples them in order, and then writes the story. Unfortunately, she cannot spell very well, and has problems with phonics, but she gets her point across using her art. I always support her creativity, but I sometimes feel like she uses her art as a crutch to avoid “traditional” reading and writing. What can I do to help her? |
The Assessment: How incredibly awesome that your child at the age of seven has realized something many adults never understand. Writing a story is like producing a movie – it creates a world within one’s mind. As that story is created, one important rule must be followed. The central plot must be “seen” clearly as the reader progresses through the story. The writer determines how much detail will be put into the “movie,” but also decides how much will be left to the reader’s imagination. Consider this example:
“She ran down the path. Her secret was compromised. Shadows seemed like tentacles of monsters she had dreamt of before. Soon she saw two characters coming toward her. Could they be the ones that called? Could they have known where she was all the time?”
Writing is the vehicle for expressing a picture or scene in one’s mind. Reading is about looking through the invisible cloth called “words” and seeing a movie that someone else has created. In my previous example, I included enough information so the reader can follow the storyline. Yet many details are left to the reader’s imagination. Was it daytime, noon or night? Is she is in a forest outside of town or in Central Park? Why tentacles?
Reading for pleasure begins with what the writer conveys, but true enjoyment comes from all that is left to the reader’s creativity. Readers can add, create and let their imagination overflow without limitations. Have you ever read a book, and then found yourself disappointed by the movie? That’s because our imaginations create a movie that is perfect in our mind’s eye.
What To Do: Your daughter loves to write and create her own “home movies,” yet doesn’t realize that reading is experiencing someone else’s movie. Of course, ditto sheets and other materials used to teach reading in schools are as engaging as poison ivy, but reading stories on her own gives your daughter the opportunity to be the movie critic. As she reads, she must follow the story, but she must also see what details the story has left out. It can be a time to use her incredible imagination.
To harness her creativity, every time that she reads a portion of a story or book, she should draw the scene, illustrating with details only she sees. New ideas will emerge as she explores other’s writing.
As for her reading skills, if your daughter only needs to increase fluency, then reading to create “movies” will help. More syllabication at school will help as well. I hope I am writing to the mom of the next generation’s J.K. Rowling. Your daughter’s imagination and desire to write is a treasure to her right now – and it could be a treasure the world awaits.
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Teach your child to read for pleasure
June 28, 2007 12:00 PM
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Dear Dr. Fournier: My child hates reading. She has not picked up one book so far this summer. I love to read and cannot understand why my daughter does not enjoy it. I have taken her to the library and she checks out books but never reads them. How can I get her to read for pleasure? |
The Assessment: "Reading for pleasure is a contradiction in terms." When I first heard that statement, I was totally confounded because I spent my childhood engrossed in the fantasy that books created.
But soon I remembered the story of a first-grader who burst into tears one afternoon when his mother picked him up from school. When he could finally talk about the problem, he explained that he had been assigned to take out three books from the library, read them, pick his favorite and then write a letter to his favorite character. "Mom!" he cried, "Who writes letters to books?"
Reading for pleasure is not easily developed in children who have been exposed to the "read and do" syndrome that often prevails at school. Students might be asked to "read and..." draw a picture, "read and..." write a book report, "read and..." summarize, or "read and..." answer questions. Even reading contests are a form of the "read and do" syndrome as children are instructed to read and complete rather than read for enjoyment.
What To Do: Many parents expect their children to begin reading for pleasure by having them choose which book to read. On a trip to the library, how many times have you heard a parent say, "Hurry up and pick a book so we can check it out"?
Instead, prepare your child to choose her "reading for..." by setting out a list of interests that can be added to throughout the summer. Here are a few ideas:
I want to read for knowing more about...dogs and other pets.
I want to read for knowing how to make...a tree house.
I want to read for traveling in my mind...to Italy.
I want to read for learning how to...draw cartoons.
I want to read for...solving fun mysteries.
I want to read for...relaxing at bedtime.
Set up a calendar and explain to your daughter that each day she has a choice: she can either become "obsolete" because she has not changed anything inside or she can become "new and improved" by adding something new. Once a week, or at any other convenient interval, have your child find what she needs to be "new and improved" and how "reading for..." will help her accomplish her goals. Then you are ready for trips to libraries, bookstores or other places where you can pick up brochures or information.
As you help your child identify that which is pleasurable, then reading can take its place as a support to finding pleasure rather than a goal in and of itself.
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"Study skills" go the way of the dinosaur
May 24, 2007 12:00 PM
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Dear Dr. Fournier: All year long, my child’s teacher has written notes saying my child could do better, needs to prepare more for tests, needs to show more effort. His school and other places are offering study-skills courses in the summer. Do you think this will help my child do better in school? |
The Assessment: Stated bluntly, I believe the concept of study skills is as obsolete as the dinosaur. It is a term I buried years ago and refuse to consider today.
The notion of "study skills" has its roots in a previous generation who went to school to prepare for a work world that required sameness of thinking – many people carrying out the same job description with the same level of productivity. Our children, however, must prepare for a work world in which uniqueness of thinking will be rewarded. The focus will not be "Can you do the same task eight hours a day?" but instead, "Can you find a better way to do it?"
Previous generations focused on studying what their teacher (or supervisor or manager) gave them. But now our children must learn what teachers put on the table by redeveloping it with personal thought and creativity. This allows our children to take ownership of knowledge; anything less will mold our children into the very workforce dinosaurs that corporations can no longer use.
If a course is called "study skills," the very message is inappropriate today. A child should no longer go to school to accomplish studying. Instead, studying should be viewed as only one of the means for learning, and our children must use their uniqueness in developing a complete learning process.
"Study skills" preach uniformity of study habits – sit at a desk, have good light, avoid distractions. Unless you live on the moon, it is unlikely that you can function in such a rigid, sterile way.
I believe that our children must develop strategies to confront changing circumstances; you cannot learn that with a system that ignores change and diversity.
I once worked with a child who had a study-skills course as a separate class in which there were tests on study skills. This child went to class to study how to study, then studied at home to be tested on whether he knew the process of studying. Cute, but ridiculous.
Telling children how to study is like telling them what size clothes they have to wear. Some kids will fit that size, but all the rest end up looking silly.
What To Do: Before deciding whether your child needs a course in study skills, consider these points:
Your child needs to learn how to learn, not just how to study.
Your child must learn to develop strategies to confront new, diverse situations. He cannot do this with a one-size-fits-all set of skills.
In order to learn how to learn, your child must actually be learning. A sense of purpose is essential for children to enter into self-exploration.
This summer, help your child explore his unique interests. During vacation, he might find some of the best processes for learning, whether it is keeping up with his favorite baseball team or figuring out how to build a tree-house.
At the beginning of the school year, help your son set up a notebook that will contain a diary of learning strategies. In this notebook, your child should keep track of the strategies that worked best and those that did not work. Take time once a week to review this with your son and help him learn how to set new strategies to adapt to changing situations at school.
For example, writing his spelling words three times as the teacher requires might not be enough to learn the words. Maybe he needs to record the spelling words on a tape recorder so that he can take his own practice test.
Help your child use his imagination and creativity to learn and to become someone capable of facing change by changing himself. Your child cannot get this from a study-skills course.
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The difference between learning and remembering
May 17, 2007 12:00 PM
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Dear Dr. Fournier: I have drilled and drilled my child on her multiplication tables. I think she finally has them. We have done flash cards almost every day. I am sick of it and I know my daughter is. I met with her teacher yesterday and, of all things, she told me to keep doing flash cards this summer so my daughter will not forget her multiplication tables! Is there anything else we can do? We are both so tired of flashing. |
The Assessment: Learning math facts is a two-step process. The first step is learning the facts with accurate recall; the second step is recall with speed. In the beginning, your child must learn the math facts accurately without being concerned about the time. It is not until she can consistently demonstrate accuracy that you then move to the second step – recall with speed.
Unfortunately, many children are assigned to learn math facts at home because of a lack of time in the classroom. As a result, parents become responsible for their child’s learning math facts with accurate recall, and the schools have little measure of the student’s basic accuracy – only the student’s speed of recall.
Consider the student who makes 100 on a timed math test. Teachers – and parents – assume that the student has learned, but what the test shows is that the student has remembered the facts one time, not that she has learned with consistent accuracy. When a child does not learn math facts with accuracy every time, the result is often the directive, "keep doing the flash cards so she doesn’t forget."
Remembering and learning are two different tasks. We forget much of what we commit to "remembering," but learning lasts a lifetime.
What To Do: Recognize that your child – not you – must learn the math facts with accuracy first and then with speed. Your child has the responsibility of learning; you have the responsibility of monitoring her work.
Write out 75 math facts in a horizontal formula, such as 7x7=?. Leave out the ones table, but repeat traditionally more difficult facts such as the 6, 7, 8 and 9 tables. Make copies of this page and put them in a loose-leaf binder to serve as an answer sheet. Also, have your child set up a page of charts called Challenges for Progress, divided into three columns that are labeled with the headings: Errors; Tabulation; I Know You.
Set aside five minutes every day for your child to take her own "challenge" math sheet. (Mornings are better than later in the day; for example, always set aside 10 minutes after breakfast.) Set the timer and have your child do as many math facts as she can complete with accuracy in five minutes. Have your child correct her own sheets up to the last item computed. On her Challenges for Progress sheet, she should record any incorrect facts under "Errors."
Whenever she misses the same problem again, she records it on the same Challenges for Progress sheet under "Tabulation."
Once your child has taken her challenge for 10 days, she will discover the facts she misses most. These are the ones she should spend time learning. She should attempt learning only one at a time.
When she begins to consistently answer these problems correctly on her challenges, she can place them in the "I Know You" column of her Challenges for Progress sheet.
Let your child use her own creativity to learn her math facts. She can make index cards and put them around the house and talk to them as she passes by:
"Hi, 7x3, you’re still 21!" She can put them on her mirror or closet door. She might discover ways to apply math facts to other activities she enjoys.
This way of "flashing" gives your child the responsibility for learning and frees you from rote drilling. At the end of two weeks, multiply the time you have saved and use it to enjoy your time together.
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Keeping a child's focus on finals as summer beckons
May 10, 2007 12:00 PM
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Dear Dr. Fournier: My son
knows we expect him to do his homework in the
afternoon so that we do not have late nights.
This has worked, but now he wants to go out and
play after school. As the days have gotten longer
his attention span has gotten shorter. This
happened last year, and we ended up fighting.
This year he will have final exams for the first time and I do not want to be fighting. We have planned many activities for him this summer, so he knows he is going to have fun. He just needs to work a little harder until school is out. How can I get this across to him without yelling? |
The Assessment: At this time every year, the irresistible force – the expectation of summer fun – meets the immovable object – final exams – and the result is that "something’s gotta give." What we often give up is what we desire most – a calm family atmosphere.
Just when school is most demanding, the days grow longer, giving children more daylight for fun. Add to that the desire to participate in outdoor activities and the special springtime events, and preparing for final exams can become the last thing on a child’s mind.
Although parents want their children to anticipate the fun of vacation, children often cannot stop with mere anticipation – they often want it now, and summer hysteria sets in.
What To Do: At this time every year, the irresistible force – the expectation of summer fun – meets the immovable object – final exams – and the result is that "something’s gotta give." What we often give up is what we desire most – a calm family atmosphere.
Just when school is most demanding, the days grow longer, giving children more daylight for fun. Add to that the desire to participate in outdoor activities and the special springtime events, and preparing for final exams can become the last thing on a child’s mind.
Although parents want their children to anticipate the fun of vacation, children often cannot stop with mere anticipation – they often want it now, and summer hysteria sets in.
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Responsible decision-making
April 12, 2007 12:00 PM
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Dear Dr. Fournier: When my daughter comes home from school in the afternoon, we often end up arguing because she can’t make a decision. She can’t decide what play clothes to wear or when to do her homework. I realize that this is not solely a homework problem, but surely the indecisiveness that is so frustrating to me also affects her work in the third grade. How can I help my daughter become a hassle-free decision maker? |
The Assessment: Your child spends all day in school facing only one decision: to do the "right" thing by following the teacher’s instructions, or to do the "wrong" thing and suffer the consequences.
In school, explicit instructions leave little, if any, opportunity to make choices. Workbooks and ditto sheets give clear mandates: "Write the sentence and underline the noun." Some students are even told when to line up and use the bathroom, whether they need to or not.
This right-or-wrong approach replaces decision making with obedience. The two qualities are not mutually exclusive. As parents, we can teach our children how to obey the rules and still allow them the freedom to make appropriate decisions. Effective decision making is not always a matter of right and wrong. Children need to learn how to identify problems (not just solve them), how to recognize various options (not just one "right" answer), how to weigh the pros and cons (not just memorize one response), and how to select the best possible choice.
Children who have problems with decision making tend to be at two extremes, and might even fluctuation between them: "I don’t know – what do you want?" and "I want this and I want it now."
Your child seems to be in the first group. These children have not developed the ability to recognize decision-making choices. These children wait for mandates and are overwhelmed by choices.
Given the freedom to decide, the second group will go overboard and want it all. Although this child makes up his mind quickly, he has not learned how to analyze options and make confident decisions. The child who desperately wants a toy can be the same child who sets it aside in a couple of days only to be miserable until he can impulsively have his next toy.
What To Do: Make a list with your child of those areas for which there are NO choices. These rules, which deal with important values, are to be followed obediently. Examples could be words you are not allowed to use or "house rules" such as keeping your bed made and your clothes off the floor.
With these mandates out of the way, other matters may be decided as they arise. Pick some routine decisions your child should make, such as selecting what play clothes to wear. Let your child know that before she decides, she is to tell you what the options are and the pros and cons of each. Congratulate your child for her analysis regardless of the decision.
This process also applies to school work. For example, your child reports: "I will do my math and spelling now for about 30 minutes, and my social studies and composition after dinner. The advantage is I will have time to play. The disadvantage is I am leaving the hardest work for tonight when I will be tired." When your child’s decision produces disadvantages that might lead to unnecessary hassles and scoldings later on, your child can turn back to her list of pros and cons and discover a new option to resolve the situation. In this case, your child could exchange at least one of the easier assignments to avoid poor quality learning.
It is easier for parents to be the decision makers rather than teach children how to make their own decisions. However, the only way we have a right to expect responsible decision making from our children is the old-fashioned way – they must learn it.
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Tricks to help your child develop spelling skills
March 22, 2007 12:00 PM
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Dear Dr. Fournier: I work with my son each week on his spelling lists. He knows them when I call them out to him, but then misses half of them on the test. Does he have a memory problem? |
The Assessment: The scene is a familiar one for many households: the child’s weekly spelling test at school has become a weekly chore at home.
The child’s primary technique for learning how to spell is asking his parents to call out the words. Although many parents feel this is the least they can do, spelling can initiate an inappropriate teaching role at home that only intensifies later on. The child who feels it is great to study with mom and dad in many cases means it feels secure to study with mom or dad – until the pressure of adding other subjects leads to a homework hassle.
Spelling is one of the first independent learning tasks that a child is assigned. But students often are not taught the strategies for independent learning, and the default mechanism can be attachment to mom or dad.
The good news is that just as spelling is a typical subject for a child to develop dependence on his or her parents, so too is it the perfect place for the parents to help their child to develop independence.
Many parents go through the frustrating experience of drilling their children on spelling words. Despite their efforts, children often do not make the expected 100 on the spelling test. These children do not have memory problems – they have learning-strategy problems.
Asking a child to study his spelling words and then immediately drilling on the words tests only the child’s short-term memory. Learning how to spell should instead be for long-term recall.
What To Do: To foster independent study, have your child use a tape recorder with two blank tapes.
On one tape write "Study Tape" and on the other write "Test Tape." Have your child first say each word and then spell it on the Study Tape. On the Test Tape, your child should say each spelling word, pausing afterward long enough to write out the word.
Next, have your child create a Test Sheet with six columns. The first column contains the correct spelling of the words. The next five columns are labeled with the days of the week until the spelling test.
Each day your child should listen to the Study Tape as part of homework. However, he should not attempt to take a practice test right away. Have him wait an hour or so after he listens to the Study Tape.
To take the practice test, your son should listen to the Test Tape and write the words on a sheet of paper as the tape dictates them. When the test is complete, he should compare this paper to the correctly spelled words on the Test Sheet.
If he misspells a word on his practice test, he should write the incorrect spelling on the Test Sheet in the column for that day. For example, if the child misspells the word "house" on Monday’s practice test, he writes the incorrect spelling in Monday’s column next to the correct spelling of the word.
By the time your child has followed this procedure three days in a row, he will know exactly which words he knows and which ones give him trouble. After this initial study work is done, you can help him develop memory tricks to remember the words he continues to miss.
This learning technique allows appropriate parental support while developing your son’s independence.
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Dealing with deficiency notices
March 15, 2007 12:00 PM
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Dear Dr. Fournier: My son is
in seventh grade. He is bright but his grades
don’t show it. He does not study as hard as I
think he should. He says he does study but can’t
seem to "get it." I try to motivate him but we
end up fighting.
This week I was cleaning his room and found a deficiency notice that he had never given to me. I ask every day how school is going and he always says it is fine. So now he is lying to me. I don’t know what to do. |
The Assessment: In an effort to keep parents informed of their child’s performance, many schools send home a mid-term report at some point during the six- or nine-week grading period. Although these reports are well-intentioned, they are no different from anything else in life: Everything good has a potential negative.
The good in mid-grading-period reports is obvious: Parents are kept informed of their child’s progress while there is still time for the student to improve his or her grades.
However, the negative connotations begin with the language used: "deficiency report" means a declaration of failure and fear of condemnation. That combination can paralyze our children with the loss of courage to persevere. The negativity is perpetuated at home with arguments, accusations and defensiveness. It is no wonder that students attempt to escape this negativity by "misplacing" their deficiency reports or "forgetting" to show them to their parents.
It is up to parents to turn this around, to seize the positive aspects of mid-grading-period reports and to refuse to react to the negatives.
What To Do: Change the language from one of failure to one of work-in-progress. You might call this the "Half-Time Score Board" or the "Now I Know What To Do Report."
Explain to your son that the purpose of the report is to let him know what learning is left to be done in the rest of the grading period. Help him to understand that there is time to accomplish this learning, and help him come up with strategies to do so.
Next, find out when your child’s grading periods start and end, and when the mid-grading-period reports are due. Put these dates on a calendar, highlighting the date for your "Half-Time Score Board."
When the mid-grading-period reports are sent home, use this time to celebrate what your child has accomplished and set new strategies for success in the second half of the "game."
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Student needs knowledge and responsibility
February 22, 2007 12:00 PM
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Dear Dr. Fournier: Our
eighth-grade son is in gifted classes and is an
avid reader, mostly cheerful, and has a wonderful
self-esteem, for which we are truly thankful.
As far as school work, however, he is not self-motivated. Since he was in fourth grade, I have spent a lot of time making sure he does his work, helping him through it, showing him how to study, quizzing him for tests, helping with time management for special projects, and the list goes on and on. When I do all these things, he gets As and Bs – sometimes straight As. If I don’t, he is a B-C student. I know he is capable of doing it on his own; the problem is he just does not want to, and is satisfied with average work. My question is, how involved should parents be in school work of children who are not motivated to do their best? |
The Assessment: Schooling has many important goals, but its primary function is to teach basic knowledge, to develop responsibility for learning independently and with accountability, and to encourage each student to process knowledge with independent thinking, learning and creativity. This is a tall order, but our schools work on each of these primary areas over time.
In the early grades, the emphasis is on basic skills. Bright children with dedicated parents, like your son, usually have a “pre-learning advantage,” with educational toys, computer programs and TV shows that teach colors, numbers and the alphabet long before the child even enters preschool. What I call the “Fisher Price Generation” usually breezes through the first three grades, often experiencing success without challenge.
In many school systems today, the fourth grade has become the time when independence in learning is suddenly expected to be in place. For most children this independence remains a skill that is still in need of development.
This often is the time when dedicated parents step in to help. Unfortunately, this separates two learning tasks that should be developed simultaneously by the child. Learning is delegated to the child and responsibility to the parent.
As students continue into middle school and high school, the educational demands increase. Instead of just memorizing basic skills, they must learn to process knowledge and contribute their own analysis and insight. A student who has not become responsible for independent learning is soon at a disadvantage in school, and is destined to be at a disadvantage in a collaborative workforce.
To succeed in school and in life, a student needs both basic knowledge and work ethic of responsibility that will allow him, as an adult, to join with others in using his knowledge.
What To Do: For the past five years, your son has learned that he does not have to be concerned with responsibility, because you have taken on that role. You must give responsibility back to him with equal commitment and diligence over time.
Select a course that your son enjoys, and outline the responsibilities he must take on to be independently successful. Be specific about the requirements. How will he take on responsibility for turning in his homework on time, handling short-term and long-term assignments, and preparing for tests and quizzes?
Have your son put this list in writing, creating a list of commitments to himself. If he fails to meet these commitments, he won’t be failing you or his teachers, but himself.
Slowly determine what items on the list you will no longer assist in, other than just lending support or answering appropriate questions. Do not take responsibilities back once you have let them go. Make sure that each item is small enough that your son can do it successfully. As your son begins to experience independent success, gradually increase his responsibility for other courses.
For a dedicated parent, letting go will be as difficult for you as grasping responsibility is for your son. Talk about this so that from the beginning you can understand each other’s pain. Remember that the goal is well worth it: Having a child who can become an independent, lifelong learner.
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Thought comes before organization
February 08, 2007 12:00 PM
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Dear Dr. Fournier: My son has
always been a mess. His teachers have complained
time and again about his "lack of organization."
I honestly believe this has been marked as
"needing improvement" on every report card since
he started school.
He does his assignments, but I find them at home when he is supposed to be handing them in. He has received zeroes for not handing work, but even this has not changed him. I just read about an organization course at a nearby college. They say it is for students who sound just like my son. Might this be a solution, or should I just give up? |
The Assessment: "Real-life" learning rarely takes place in a make-believe setting.
As much as we want our children to learn the skills needed to be successful in school and in life, we must be careful not to put them into artificial situations in which skills are taught without realistic application. When we want our children to learn a skill, we must provide the opportunity to learn it and practice it with real-life pressure.
Think back to when you taught your child how to tie his shoelaces. Did you simply give him directions, or did you let him practice tying his laces until he learned? What about teaching him how to ride his bike?
In these moments of instruction, we realize that our teaching must include the necessity of performing the task under real-life situations. Teaching a child how to be organized is no different.
What To Do: Organization requires pre-thought that relates any organizational system to one of three primary purposes:
This paper has an important purpose. The pre-thought: When will I need this?
At a specific time, I must have that paper to fulfill that purpose. The pre-thought: What will I need it for?
If I do not produce the right paper at the right time, I will be viewed as irresponsible and will suffer consequences. The pre-thought: What will happen if I do not have it?
Relating these purposes to school means having an organizational system that assures access to:
Homework on a daily basis so you never get caught without it again;
Lunch money, so you do not have to watch others eat while you remain hungry;
Papers for parents, so you are never told that you are hiding things from them;
Notes and quizzes, so you can prepare for tests.
Teaching pre-thinking cannot be done in a day, but everyday tasks offer many real-life situations that demand pre-thought or organization according to purpose.
You can assign any number of organizational responsibilities to your son: the week’s grocery shopping, registration forms for sports or other activities, phone numbers and e-mail addresses of friends with whom your son might want to communicate, doctor appointments, and even the mortgage, phone and light bills.
For each responsibility that your son takes on, guide him through the pre-thought necessary: When will I need this? What will happen if I do not have it? For example, to organize the week’s grocery shopping, he must make sure each family member keeps a list of what he or she needs from the grocery store. Your son then designates a day to pull the coupons and match them with the grocery list.
With any organizational task, make sure your son has the opportunity to succeed and to fail. He will not be perfect from day one, but be patient; he is learning an entirely new thought process. As he realizes the consequences for his actions, this process has more of a chance of taking hold.
Demonstrating organization with purpose in a real-life setting will help your son learn that organization is a process that helps to carry out a task easily and quickly. By developing this thinking process in real-world situations, you will help make this a part of your son’s way of handling tasks – including school tasks – with responsibility.
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Teach time-management skills first
January 04, 2007 12:00 PM
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Dear Dr. Fournier: My son’s time-management skills are terrible. He procrastinates, is always rushing to get anywhere and has a reputation for being late. I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I feel unqualified to give him advice because I do the same things. Is there anything I can do to help him when I don’t know how to help myself? |
The Assessment: Time governs us, structures us, and, no matter what we do, never waits for us.
As the new year begins, we all make resolutions to use our time wisely. At this time of year, we often hear references to time creeping into our everyday language:
"I just haven’t found the time to get everything done."
"Hurry up! I only have 15 minutes before the store closes."
"I need to get into the office early tomorrow to try to catch up on my work."
Like adults, children are easily stressed over the seeming lack of time. In school, they are encouraged to hand in homework on time, pace themselves through their classwork and learn it all in time to move up to the next grade. While adults invest millions of dollars each year in time-management tools, techniques and courses, too often we assume that our children will develop these skills on their own and "in time."
What To Do: Talk to your son about how to use the "life time" each of us is given to achieve our "lifetime" goals.
Have your child make a list of ways he uses his time. He might need to keep a schedule for at least a week to show patterns of activity. For example, school might be divided into different class periods with different demands from each teacher. At home, your child must balance time for homework, chores and outside activities.
After your child has compiled a weekly schedule, talk about changes that could help him make better use of time. Here are some examples:
I am going to stop fighting with my sister and my parents. It just wastes time getting mad and shouting at each other.
I am going to write down all homework assignments and make a schedule for finishing them every night. I don’t want to waste time worrying about whether I brought home the right books, or griping that my homework is impossible.
When we are confronted with an overwhelming number of daily activities or new choices, all of us should evaluate the use of our time by asking, "Is this what I want to give my ‘life’ time for?"
As we help our children make choices about how to use their time constructively, we can help them learn to balance their life with time for work and leisure, family and friends. And, who knows? We might learn to manage our own time a bit better in the process.
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