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Jul 2007
How to add reading to your child's artistic creativity
July 24, 2007 12:00 PM Filed in: Elementary
School |
Skill
Sets
 |
Dear Dr. Fournier: I
recently read your article about bright kids
with strengths in various areas, and I wanted to
ask your opinion about my 7-year-old
daughter who is entering the second grade. She
struggles with reading and spent first grade in a
special program to help her in this subject.
Although she has a difficult time reading, my
daughter’s "bright spot" is her art.
She spends her time drawing and creating things,
and her art is totally incredible – she can
imagine things that most
people wouldn't see.
One of her favorite ways to express herself is through “writing” books. She thinks about a topic, draws a succession of pictures, staples them in order, and then writes the story. Unfortunately, she cannot spell very well, and has problems with phonics, but she gets her point across using her art. I always support her creativity, but I sometimes feel like she uses her art as a crutch to avoid “traditional” reading and writing. What can I do to help her? |
The Assessment: How incredibly awesome that your child at the age of seven has realized something many adults never understand. Writing a story is like producing a movie – it creates a world within one’s mind. As that story is created, one important rule must be followed. The central plot must be “seen” clearly as the reader progresses through the story. The writer determines how much detail will be put into the “movie,” but also decides how much will be left to the reader’s imagination. Consider this example:
“She ran down the path. Her secret was compromised. Shadows seemed like tentacles of monsters she had dreamt of before. Soon she saw two characters coming toward her. Could they be the ones that called? Could they have known where she was all the time?”
Writing is the vehicle for expressing a picture or scene in one’s mind. Reading is about looking through the invisible cloth called “words” and seeing a movie that someone else has created. In my previous example, I included enough information so the reader can follow the storyline. Yet many details are left to the reader’s imagination. Was it daytime, noon or night? Is she is in a forest outside of town or in Central Park? Why tentacles?
Reading for pleasure begins with what the writer conveys, but true enjoyment comes from all that is left to the reader’s creativity. Readers can add, create and let their imagination overflow without limitations. Have you ever read a book, and then found yourself disappointed by the movie? That’s because our imaginations create a movie that is perfect in our mind’s eye.
What To Do: Your daughter loves to write and create her own “home movies,” yet doesn’t realize that reading is experiencing someone else’s movie. Of course, ditto sheets and other materials used to teach reading in schools are as engaging as poison ivy, but reading stories on her own gives your daughter the opportunity to be the movie critic. As she reads, she must follow the story, but she must also see what details the story has left out. It can be a time to use her incredible imagination.
To harness her creativity, every time that she reads a portion of a story or book, she should draw the scene, illustrating with details only she sees. New ideas will emerge as she explores other’s writing.
As for her reading skills, if your daughter only needs to increase fluency, then reading to create “movies” will help. More syllabication at school will help as well. I hope I am writing to the mom of the next generation’s J.K. Rowling. Your daughter’s imagination and desire to write is a treasure to her right now – and it could be a treasure the world awaits.
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A reader takes issue with some day-care advice
July 19, 2007 12:00 PM Filed in: Pre-School
 |
Dear Dr. Fournier: I've never
written to a columnist like you before, but I was
struck by how absurd your advice was in a recent
response about helping a child transition from
day care. In the column, you wrote:
Start by taking an alarm clock or timer to day care and setting it 20 minutes before you plan to pick up your child. Insist that your child-care staff carry through with the timer to help your child's transition from playing with friends to getting ready for mom or dad. Is this advice for real? If so, it is the worst professional advice I've ever read. I can't think of a more impractical solution at a day care center or summer camp. Do you have such little regard for child-care workers to think that they have nothing better to worry about?<</span>/td> |
The Assessment: Before we delve into the answer, we must first look at why parents take their children to day care. Here are some of the reasons I’ve heard over the years:
Even though I need to work, I want my child to be cared for by someone that will look out for her well-being.
I work nights and am finishing my degree during the day. I need time to sleep and study so I can give my family a better life.
I take care of elderly parents and their affairs.
Anybody care to write in a few thousand more here?
Unfortunately for our children, many so-called “day care” facilities focus more on the day than they do on the care. Many are little more than wholesale babysitting warehouses, uninterested in the child’s quality of care. Concerns of “quelling the end-of-the-day whining” are even further down the list.
What To Do: Understand that in many cases the term “day care” is a misnomer. Focus should be on the children and the care provided to them. I advocate a national ban on the term “day care.” Why can’t we have “caring centers” instead?
But hope is not lost. Fortunately, times have changed, and many child-care facilities have improved. These child-first organizations can be a boon for child development. Research supports that positive learning experiences at a young age not only helps children respond better to school, but also teaches them to do this with desire, joy and motivation.
Here are several ways these “caring centers” can make a difference:
- Every employee would be held accountable for a caring spirit in all they do with the children.
- Each child could ask their Care Nanny for help, knowing it will be provided with a caring solution. With this example, our children would learn to solve their issues with caring rather than screaming, crying, loneliness, punishment or whining.
- Our children would learn through modeling and direct instruction the joy and rewards of caring for others, including their parents.
- Our children would take home their caring ways. They would understand that turning off the TV and taking a bath on time is a way they show their parents caring so they can have time together later.
There is not enough room in this column to express the advantages of “caring centers” for both children and their parents. The core philosophy of these centers would put the children’s needs first. Setting an alarm to prepare children for their parents’ arrival is only one example of a “caring act” these facilities could provide. When we put the focus on the child, instead of the child-care provider, these extra amenities don’t seem outrageous at all.
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Survive the end of summer
July 13, 2007 12:00 PM Filed in: All Levels
 |
Dear Dr. Fournier: My kids are driving me crazy. How am I going to make it until school starts? |
The Assessment: With one month of summer down and one to go, July becomes the buffer month between total freedom and the last chance to enjoy summer.
For many parents, July brings a sort of "midsummer crisis." There is anxiety about all that must be done. There is fatigue from all that has been accomplished. And there is pain for what we wish we could do but cannot.
As with any crisis, July brings on exaggerated emotions – intense frustration, hurt and guilt. Parents must first recognize this very human fact before trying to defuse the situation.
As emotions become more explosive, so do parents’ actions and reactions. It gets harder to remain calm in the middle of a tantrum. It gets harder to deal with a child who wants an explanation for "no," or constantly replies, "It’s not fair!"
So when rational parents become totally irrational during the midsummer crisis, what can we do?
What To Do: First, recognize that these are legitimate emotions – you have a right to them. Do not hold them inside but deal with them constructively without causing yourself or your child additional pain.
There is nothing wrong with telling a child, "I will not give you an answer right now because I am angry. You will have to wait." Then give yourself time out – go in a quiet room, take a bath, read a book – and deliver the response later, when you have calmed down.
Summer crisis can lead you to punishments that, in calmer times, you might not mete out. When you exaggerate a punishment – and many parents do – you need to be able to look back and be willing to amend the punishment appropriately. Many parents say, "But I can’t change my mind. My child won’t respect me if I do." Yet, how can a parent get respect from child when a punishment causes unnecessary hurt? You cannot fuse hurt with respect.
Take a cue from India’s legendary leader Mohandas Gandhi. During an interview, a bystander interrupted Gandhi’s response to a question by shouting, "Once you said this, then later you said another thing, and now you say something totally different. Which is correct?" Gandhi replied without hesitation, "The last one. I am smarter now."
Show your children how decisions are made, experienced and changed, not out of weakness, but out of strength.
You cannot control your emotions all the time, but working through them can teach you how to deal calmly and intelligently with summer crises – and hassle-free homework later on.
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