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How to bring sanity to the world of final exams
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Dear Dr. Fournier: Final exams are always a battle at my home. My eighth grade daughter studies every night past midnight, and I worry that she doesn’t get enough rest. My sixth grade son says he can’t study because the teacher has not told him what is on the test. My ninth grade son doesn’t think his finals should disrupt his life and studies only when his social calendar allows time. How can I bring sanity back into my house? |
The Assessment: One of my yearly rituals is to write a column this time of year, answering questions from parents who want to know how to best help their children prepare for final exams. Unlike other holiday traditions, this is one ritual I would like to do away with – or at least move to the beginning of the semester. Parents could avoid these questions by working with their children from first day of school.
Because of procrastination, this last-minute madness continues as each semester winds down. Parenting is a full-time job, and as our children get older, it becomes harder for a parent to help each child. On top of that, we have obligations to our employers, elderly parents or disabled children (I could list a hundred more) that fill our daily routines. Add to all of that the shopping, parties and decorating that come with December, and it’s not surprising that I receive so many letters this time of year. I sympathize with the struggles parents endure, but we must make a decision regarding what is important in our children’s lives.
While your children manifest different symptoms, they actually face a similar issue – final exam preparation – and resolve it in their own unique ways. Your children may demonstrate excessiveness, passiveness or avoidance in their exam preparation, but the real problem begins with their perspective of learning. This is one of the most prevalent issues facing our educational institutions.
There is a major misconception held by teachers, parents and students alike, that the goal of school is simple memorization and regurgitation. An education like this doesn’t teach students to think creatively. A degree from this learning system isn’t worth the paper it is written on in today’s global workplace.
What To Do: Like most students, your children don’t understand the difference between “studying” and “learning.” Can you solve your dilemma this semester? No, but you can make a decision for next semester that will change the rest of their lives. The solution is so simple, but I can’t get parents to take me up on it. There should be one rule in your home that must be obeyed without exception – Studying is not allowed!
Here are the rules:
When your children come home from school each day, they are not to do their homework – they are to learn it. This radical change of perspective allows them to understand and “own” knowledge, as opposed to merely memorizing it.
Homework is not complete until students prove that they would be able to make a good grade on a surprise quiz the next day. They can do this by giving you a lecture (without notes) or writing a mock test to be taken two hours after they finish.
Every test, quiz or homework grade should be on the refrigerator, next to a list of what they missed. They will learn this material later in the week or on the weekend.
This is very simple, yet too many parents will not make their children understand that studying is for those that want to be passively schooled. Learning is the first step toward receiving an education – a requirement for someone who wants to have an independent, significant life and who wants to become a leader.
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